Confusion

Many people have died in the name of Religon than they have ever died of Cancer.








.......And we try to Cure cancer.

Confusion..

What is it about our specific belief in God and his wishes that make us so Angry at the specific beliefs of another?

Confusion...

What is it about the teachings of our respectice Deities, that makes us more right than the next person.....or more wrong?

Confusion....

What makes us take up arms against those who pray to the same God with different words...

Confusion.....

...and make "Holy War" against them?

Eid

me n most of my family on Eid, as u mite have noticed i had no idea a picture was being takin:P

Random

well since some stupid genius could not make it on wed we had to delay our trip for HIM not that im COMPLAINING! I mean SOME of us where just hyped up n ready to go rite MAHMOUD!?! ......but hey on further not where leaving at 2100 hrs cant wait :D, i wanted to leave at 0500 but these wimpy arabs guys could not get up, thas y u dont go clubbin! but they jus had to go to turkish las nite....stupid arrrabs:P grrrrr but hey all expenses paid trip i aint gonna complain :D ...n ya thas my story

oh n i watched some of king kong it was boring so i got up n left n read a book:P .....but Narnia was awsome!!!!!!

Forever running...

The sky was gloom of cloud, the woods dead and frozen. Roots grabbed at my feet as I ran, and bare branches lashed my face leaving thin stripes of blood across my cheeks. I crashed through heedless, breathless, icicles flying to pieces before me...running, I am sick of running.....

Scotland...

just another beauty that God has created for us....can you feel the tranquility?


oh how I wish I could move and live here...

The Blood Red Sky....

I really love the contrast of the red and the black

Random

for my sis who loves cats:P

Oath

I never asked for nothin I don't demand of myself
Honesty, loyalty,and then wealth
Death before dishonor and I tell you what else
I tighten my belt 'fore I beg for your help


~something a dear freind of mine sent to me, it reminds me of well....me I guess, im not tryin to sound all crazy or anything but its the words that are what I try and live by.....from my freinds and allies all i want is honesty n loyalty, Death before Dishonor..what could i say about this?...what I could say and will say if that to some extent im actually understood by someone...but then again she is like a sista 2 me.....I dont beg, i dont give in easily n ill fight to my dyin breath.......

Random

If you stand there with your mouth open, a weasel is likely to mistake it for itz lair and run down your throat. If you have something to say, say it! Otherwise beware of weasels....

juz some random quote or w/e that came to my mind as i sit here wit maryhem (shes gonna kill me i dont know how 2 spell her name:P) n Laila man there so flippin boring! all they do is talk! cant even let a brother read.....not to mention sleep.....n on top of that they want to go shoppin agian! "we need a guys opnion n you know so much about fashion" is what they keep sayin im sure theres otha ppl out there n not me....oh that reminds me i gotta go n grab a new pair of dress boots....so i mite go....but araaagh goin wit them requires so much walking! by the time we are done i feel that my feet are going to fall off, i flippin finshed a mareathon or somethin......

Hell Fire

I really love the 2nd part in the song (Everybody will come to the hour)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What got me to this point,
why am I not surprised.
No need for rewind,
my life flashes right before my eyes,
I wasn’t unlike most,
and specifically speaking
Grew up Muslim in public school,
Islamic school on the weekend,
Once in a while made it to Jummah maybe not even that,
As far as Islam is concerned it really wasn’t where my head was at,
But it was cool if I made grades on the home front,
A 4.0 my parents bought me anything I want.
The "fly-est" gear to help me cop them digits,
Then maybe when I am 30 I'll become religious
But later came,
my disposition stayed the same,
Live your life one way too long it's not so easy to change
I refrained from the things that was said to help me gain
And indulge in the things that I should of obstained
Mixed up caught up, going out of my brainI guess it's about the time,
I ran into "Mary Jane"
Inhalations in my breath,
got my mind thinking less,
oh yes,
And in this state I met the angel of death,
And then came the time for Allah to resurrect,
My soul from the clutches of a six foot depth
I find myself surrounded by the company I kept
Realizing full well this was the day of regret
And over the horizon,
slowly it crept,
Anticipation thoughts racing and I'm losing my breath
And with all my might my right arm I stretch,
Imagine my reaction,
I caught my book in my left,
I caught my book in my LEFT!!!
I caught my book in my left!

Save me from the, Hell fire, Hell fire, Hell fire
Save me from the, Hell fire, Hell fire, Hell fire

Everybody will come to the hour
When we stand all alone in horror
And we hope that our deeds will help us through
Only one we can blame is ourselves
We were blessed with our youth and our health
And we wonder why our deeds are few
Everybody-gets a wake up call,
Take a warning before the nightfall
Use the time right now for making prayer
And on the day when there is no shelter
The good deeds are your only helpers
You'll be proud when you see that they're there.

I’m looking back now at my life on the earth
Been thinking about my deeds and what everything was worth
Like the time I was listening to a speech about Hell,
It really made me scared cause he broke it down well,
Never you forget about those angels undercover,
or the..Day when your good deeds are weighed against the others
Bad deeds brought together,
then you discover Your good deeds are just feathers,
you start to shudderT
hen- the- angels come nasty, ugly as ever,
Grab you by the forehead,
and start to make you suffer
Hot, boiling water,
Burning fire forever,
Waiting for a pause in the pain, but it be never

->As I rode to my school,
I told myself there ain’t no way I’m gonna be a fool,
And forget Allah’s rules.
Eyes on the prize,
gonna stay wise,
As I go to class,
socialize with the guys.
But whoa!
look at the time,
the next prayer’s in,
I’m here chillin’ - they’ll start staring
Slip to bathroom,
find an empty classroom,
Don’t wanna miss a prayer here at school or even at home
Man it was a struggle,
trying to be a Muslim and staying out of trouble,
The stress seemed double,
Even watching TV, I have to have control,
Hands on remote control,
just to save my soul
But deep in my heart yo I knew it,
I could really do it,
If I pushed myself through it,
Living all my youth with Islam,
see it only grew me stronger,
Withholding temptations for longer and longer,
But now it pays off, if the fire stays off,
Be chilling for eternity forever days off,
Got my book in right and my fate is looking well,
They put struggles of my youth on the good side of my scale
With the mercy of Allah,
I won’t fail,
Cause truly
Not a moment, not a moment did I want in Hell.
Cause not a moment, not a moment would I want in hell.

Chorus

A Son of the Crescent

Sura Isra, Ayat 18

If any do wish for the transitory things of this life,
We readily grant it to them,
As we will to such person we will,
In the end have we provided hell for them,
Where they shall burn therein,
Disgraced and rejected.

Such a powerful ayat it really shocked me n got me contemplating about the martial things in this life.....

Muslim...

I just love this song it inspires you so much gets your blood pumping!....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One billion strong,
all year long,
Prayers to Allah even in Hong Kong
Can never be wrong if we read the Qur'an
Cause it's never been changed since day one.
Others may brag,
say that we lag,
But they don’t know all the power we had
The power we had,
the power we have
So Muslimoon don’t you ever be sad
Take many looks,
go read their books,
You'll see all the facts that your friends overlook,
So always be proud,
you can say it out loud
I am proud to be down with the Muslim crowd!

M-U-S-L-I-M
I'm so blessed to be with them...
M-U-S-L-I-M
I'm so blessed to be with them...

They look at me strangely
Like I emit some type of energy
That draws Kafirs - disbelievers towards me.
Thinking to themselves what makes him different from me.
Is it the hair,
the clothes or maybe the food he eats,
What could it be,
that make thug cats,
stand at attention,
His demeanor's peaceful but on his face it's clearly written that,
This aint the sorta brother caught up in this and that
Running streets carrying heat yo he aint into that.
This brother must live by some type of criteria,
To make it to the average cat quite superior
So maybe one of these days I get near enough
Play like Nancy Drew on this mystery and clear it up.
So listen up if you think this is strange,
Cause these the type of thoughts that use to run through a new Shahada's brains
and I bear witness to the one with 99 names,
InshAllah I will always remain.

M-U-S-L-I-M
I'm so blessed to be with them...
M-U-S-L-I-M
I'm so blessed to be with them...

Don’t know about you,
I know about me,
I'm proud because I'm rolling Islamically
Everywhere I see,
even on TV,
People talking trash about the way I be.
But what they all hate,
is if we get great
Cause we're the only ones with our heads on straight
Don’t ever frown, or your head looking down,
If you read the Qur'an you're the best in the town.
Y'all have doubt say- we have no cloutBut-within-a-few years see how we've come about.
Were back on the scene,
The number-one deen,
I'm proud to be down with the Muslimeen!

Chorus

Random...A Day @ the Bay

I was on break from work and at the food court ordering a veggie taco from taco time when I came up short about yaaaa 30 cents and was cacelling the order when this woman comes up and offers to pay for me, I tell her no its okay but she insists and keeps on insisting when finally I givein but ask her to atleast to take what money I do have, she refuses me everytime and instead asks me to give me her blessing so I have now added her to my "Praying they will convert list" :D.....

I ran into taka at the bay he was picking up a watxch or something, it was good 2 see the brah again after so long......

I have ran into Brother Sadiq and Brother Adhnan a few times and remininsed for a bit with each. Its awesome talking to these broz because I harldy ever get 2 see them :D ........oh n im told Brother Nahid got a job as well but most unfortunately he is now in crutchs.......

and ya on about whaaa 2 occasions I have ran into Sister Saher whom I have not seen nor talked to for quite sometime......

Wow u run into everyone at southgate!

Straight up comedy, thas all I got 2 say.....

Some walks are taken alone...

*Fear no Foe*

~Magic~

Historians report that the banner of the Persian Emperor had a magic square of a hundred field woven into it in gold. Those whom practice magic believe that such things are talisman and that magic squares means victory in war, and that a banner containing it or accompanied by it could never be routed. Yet this very banner was found lying on the ground the day Rustum was killed at Al-Qadisiya and all that was left of the Imperial Persian Army was either dead (most of them) are had retreated (a few got away).


This is something I happened to come across when I was reading about magic, Islam n ya....soo I thought meh mite as well put it on my page, I like it n ya thas my story.....

A HaZy dream...so Troubling.....

A chain separating her porch form the sidewalk, the sidewalk sepeating her porch from the other porch. she was forbidden to walk across to the other porch, it was freezing and she was shivering in her thin dress, locked outside she she was going to get hypothermia. Upon seeing her I race up to her and ask her what the hell shes doin outside in such a thin dress shivering her butt off, upon hearing her answer I grab her and carry her into my arms across to the other porch. I open the door and her parents are there, the snap at her! she was crying trying to explain but her parwent (her dad mostly) accuses her of fornication, takin aback I step in and I back her up telling them excatly what happened, she is sobbing and pleading but they fall upon deaf ears.

the dream goes to a court room where her parents want to get rid of her, so back and forth goes the debate, her dad still is determined to win (he has hired the best lawyer in town where I have no one buy myself) her mother is totally confused and torn but has decided to side wit her husband (did he threaten her or ssomething?) finally in a last desperate attempt I call upon her mother to come forward and her daughter to talk to her infront of the whole court room.

Teary eyes she says "Oh mother I love you, I love father, l love both of you, I love everyone....whenever I had a problem, he is the one I would go and talk to, whenever I was crying, he would wipe away my tear's and make me happy again, he is my Brother."
A shock fills the room, and then a roar of joy erupts as mother and daughter run to one another and emgrace. But her father remains seated, as still as stone, only the anger in his eyes shows how he is feeling.

Another flash. I am in the lawyers house with my rents, and her father. My dad is trying to bring peace with between the families (her father looks strangely familiar I know who he is (he scared me when I was a lil kid I didn't like him)). I am trying to break the father so I keep annoying him (which is not really hard for some like me I am really good at annoying ppl)........

A little while later I succeed and he ends up trying to strangle me (for some reason he appeared to be likle a flippin crocodile or somthin (no flippin idea so dont ask)) as he chokes me I let him know that this whole 'session' (for the lack of a better term) is being recorded and I loudly proclaim of the assault and how the lawyer does not intervene when I am his guest and have eatin his bread and salt, and drank his water....the father lets go, I have won.......BEEP BEEP BEEP! goes my alarm clock (And Sura Rahman goes off from my cell (my opther alarm clock, I luv waking up the such a beautiful voice and words)).

~I asked the father "Dont you fear that something mite happen to her? Do you not fear Gods wrath?" and so on and so forth
He replies "I fear nothing and no one!"
To this I reply "That is your downfall, for all men musty know fear"

the above paragraph was in my dream I just cant recall where :S

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The gurl is some1 I kno but at the same time I dont recognize her. At one time she was a black sis wearing a hijab n jalbab (not sure on how 2 spell it), then it was Aisha, then it was a friend of mine flippin weird.....

A Shout for my sis

Here is a poem my sister wrote for me two summers ago, everytime I read it I think of her and how much I miss her. Her laughs, her smiles, her eyes, her jokes (although they can be very corny at times...sometimes...alot of times.....all the time:P), I remember how freakishly strong she can be spiritually, mentally, emotionally (oh and lets not forget phyically:P).

This poem she wrote for me always brings tears to my eyes just in remembrance...I try and I try to write something as good as this, something about her but I fail each time, time and time again for no words can comprehend how much she means to me; she is after all my sis, and I love her, I care for her, and I will always be there for her.....she is my sis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of all the friends I'll ever have,
Not one will ever be
Important to my life the way
You've been to me.

In many ways we are different,
Yet I always turn to you
To put things into perspective
With an honest point of view.

You take the time to listen with
A sympathetic ear
And tell things in gentle ways
I really need to hear.

A brother is a special gift
IM always grateful for,
Because there is no one else on earth
I'd trust and count on more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Al-Baqarah

My father always reads this Du'aa after every salah and I have never known the meaning of why he reads it and what it means so today after Fajr salah I asked him and he gave me the same reply which he always does (go look it up. So I went and searched it in the Quran it is the very last ayat of Sura Al-Baqarah ayat 286. Lo and Behold! just reading it I was takin aback, in total shock ya'nee...tears clouded my eyes I struggled to carry on I was so takin aback by it the sheer power radiating from the words left me in tears and speechless.....

On no soul doth Allah
Place a burden greater
Than it can bear.
It gets every good that it earns,
And it suffers every ill it earns.
(Pray:) "Our Lord!
Condem us not
If we forget or fall
Into error; our Lord!
Lay not on us a burden
Like that which Thou
Didst lay on those before us,
Our Lord! lay not on us
A Burden greater than
We have strength to bear.
Blot out our sins,
And grant us forgivness.
Have mercy on us,
Thou art our Protector;
Help us against those
Who stand against Faith."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Sura Al-Ma'idah section 7 and 8 starting from ayat 44 i have trouble understanding what it means like the deeper meaning of it...reading it i am often left in confusion......

Random

Man for the ppll whom missed out on ppl practice u missed out big time, it was awesome...n very tiring :P.....I was quite disappointed by the lack of ppl showing up 5 of what did youcef say 13 whom should have been therE?......lol n there was 2 sistaz there who didnt know the practice was cancelled pretty harsh n out of place guess there capt didnt inform them I guess but meh ya n thas my story...till anotha time.....

Bball game on friday

Although we lost, I think that game went rather well, good playing time, passing, overall we played better then we ever have.....

I am no stranger to nightmares

The sound was the faintest of clinks, a scraping of steel over stone. I lift my head, listening intently.

surrounded by grass and thorns, blueberries broken on the ground, mud, worms, rotting leaves, and squirrels up above and creeping through the bushes.

I catch a glimpse of steel from my brothers sword, covered with the blood of the sentry he killed. There are other squirrels running through the branches above, fear...you can taste it.

Clink, I hear it agai, I rise swiftly to my feet, ears pricked, body crouched. I hand signal my brother (move in, it means). It is a wet night, a night to drive men to seek shelter by their meager fires. The rain has stopped, but still they linger by the warmth of their fires....fools. My brother comes sliding through the trees, moving forward quietly.

We move in, my brother racing beside me.The walls were low but they where slick and wet from the rain! Frustrated I look around, my eyes fall upon a great tree covered in needles, slanting towards the wall. Swiftly I whirl and bound back into the trees, wet leaves rustling beneath my feet, branches whipping at me as I run past. I could hear my brother following close. We plunged by a maple tree and around a cold pool, through the blueberry bushes, under a tangle of oaks an ash, to the pine tree.....and there it was slanting towards the wall...excellent.

I turn and race back in a rush my feet flying, kicking up wet leaves and pine needles, throwing myself up the trunk, upward I bound, up an up, two, three, barely slowing, until I was up as far as I could go. Branches tangled my feet and whipped my eyes. I jump...needles scattering eerywhere, scrathing my bare face and following down my bare neck, sticky sap on my hands, the sharp piney smell of it.....

.....The sky was gloom of cloud, the woods dead and frozen. Roots grabbed at my feet as I ran, and bare branches lashed my face leaving thin stripes of blood across my cheeks. I crashed through heedless, breathless, icicles flying to pieces before me.

Hes dead, primary mission accomplished...secondary mission is to stay alive along enough to reach the escape point.....

Random

bball game coming up, man I dont even know where it is!....ahhhhh....n ya thas my story (im gonna kill random for getting that stuck in my head "n ya thas my story")

In other news I finally beat FABLE!!!! WOOT WOOT....BO YEAH!!!! :D , man that waz awesome game highly suggest for those whom have a x-box go n get the game, n those of you who dont have n x-box....get n x box!...oh n the game :P

Fate chooses your relations, but you choose your friends.....so choose wisely

ahhh where shall i start?....bball game???...no i think ill pass on that, hmmm eid dinner ahh yes sounds good.....

It felt good to finally be able to reminisce wit my broz, running into Brother Murtatda, Brother Youcef, Brother Jawad (actually i see him quite often n ya:P), Brother Nawid, Brother Zacharia, and all those other brothers i dont get to see often. The food was blah but hey its food cant complain :P

jus somthin funny

Juz somthin my friend said when observing my diamond ring....we could not stop laughin even now I cannot help but chuckle as I read this.....


'pinky ring worth about a fitty bling bling'

Striving.....

I DONT STOP.
I'LL PUSH EVERY MUSCLE IN MY BODY TO BE BETTER THEN
THE NEXT GUY AND BETTER THEN I WAS YESTERDAY, AND
THE DAY BEFORE THAT. IF I STOP THERE'LL BE NO
VICTORY LAP AND I'LL ACCOMPLISH NOTHING, YEAH I CAN'T
STOP, I DONT EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD.

A Window of Hope

I was shopping yesterday evening (still got Eid gift to get for my friends:P) when I came upon a gurl crying in dismay she looked ready to collapse tears where streaming down her face, as I stood there I felt a sharp pain in my heart questions where zooming across ma mind, why was she crying?...who did this to her!?!, should I approach her and see what is wrong? and before I knew what I was doing my feet were carrying me to her.

I approached her, and as I gazed upon her face I noticed that her face was grey like the sky, I asked what could cause her such dismay. She told me her life, she felt a pain she never felt before. She said it feels like nobody loves her anymore, it was a fact she knew forsure,

"I started this life so pure" she said to me

She went on about her past, I listened with patience that was my task. I told her there is no need to cry, her words where like a looking glass to me how much pain will a guy put a gurl through?, It reminded me of the words I was told by another gurl, a gurl wise beyond her years....

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

We took a walk aroun, with much pain did her heart pour with this feeling she never felt before.....

I talked to her, soothed her pain, brushed the tears, in the end she was smiling, she had such a sweet and innocent smile, and happy; my job was done so I took her leave and gave her a contact info if she ever needed to talk or advice for anything. We both walked away smiling......




A very good friend of mine by the name of Tanvi, showed me this it had a great affect on me and is related to what happened here, I gave her this example, and so this is why I have decided to put it on.....

"A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who do love you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by who we are. You are special - don't ever forget it."

Cat

there a snow white cat with beautiful golden eyes that has no home and my parents are not letting me keep it...alas I must find it a home....

Contemplating

Alas! Ramadan and Eid has come and gone, like every good thing nothing lasts on this world. I Inshallah will keep a strong Emaan and will be able to continue to strengthen my Emaan and strive towards uniting the Ummah...so much to do, and I dont even know when nor how I will die....will I get killed in a car crash?...be shoot? stabbed? beatin to death?....will my enemies finally succecd? or will I choke on a morsel of food? mite I be so overcome with grief that I will contemplate suicide? even do the evil deed? n many more.....

All of these are on my mind daily, akways having to watch my back cuz of some buck. The past continually haunts me becuz of the foolish, the stupid mistakes I made in the past thinking im like Immortal (in a sense)...a foolish boy I was, but a boy I am no longer....I am a Man, most of all I am a Muslim!

~Ummah before self~

Fun things one can (and if crazy, should) try on an elevator

Just something my friend showed me when we where reminiscing at west ed after where where done shopping.....


FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR (try'em:P)

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8)Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment
9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15) Swat at flies that don't exist.
16) Tell people that you can see their aura.
17) Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.
18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off
21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers
23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space"

A song of Ice and Fire

From a Song of Ice and Fire


Simon *Star* eyes.....He has no eyes, so in place of his missing eyes he put in jewels which allowed him 2 'see'....his chosen weapon is a double bladed spear, ya i kno it dont sound all tha crazy but when you read the book it like saaaay yalllahhh!.....its friggen crazy!

You just stand there and L00K CuTe

After Hijacking the Ship all them penguins get DrUnK!!!

I like to MoVe iT, mOvE It

You didnt see aNyThInG

A Promise...

"Promise me Bilal...promise me"

I woke up 2day drenched in cold sweet this dream I had is sending shivers down my back even now as I type..... I am on my knees her head is in my lap her clothes are torn n ragged, her hair in disarray, even though the beating she has takin the evidence of her beauty are still cleary evident on her face. She looks up at me with those eyes that where once so full of life that could bring the truth out of you, that could make you feel happy all over no matter how foul a mood you where in. Holding her head in one hand clutching her body our tears intermingling

"Dont leave me! Aisha please dont leave me" I cry sobbing
"O little one, my sweet Billu the is God's will but I wont ever truly leave you I promise ill always be here" she points at my heart, "If you ever need me just close your eyes and look into your heart and you will find me there" she replies in her reassuring voice

"Aisha...please aisha" I plead with her
"Can you promise me hun?"
"But Aisha I...I....I" I reply stuttering
"Shhhhh just promise me Billu please, can you do that for me?"
"I guess so....Yes I can...I promise...I promise you sis, I promise you Aisha" my voice growing stronger
"I knew you would, your different Bilal, your special, Your my little brother....I love you little one" she smiles one last time The mist envelopes everything sun doth shines upon my eyes I wake up to a new day..... I have kept that promise to this day.......

Bball at Trinity

Saturday our first game....70-28 loss what is there to say? countless fouls by my teams.....truly I am disgusted and disgraced but I shall not fall, ive been hit harder I will live with this.....I thirst for revenge.....my training begins...so much to say but that shant be said.....the wheel have just began to turn

Ya-Aisha

She lay in a pool of blood, gasping for breath, each breath weaker than the other, she looked down at me reaching down grasping my arm.....

"little one its that you" she asks
"Yes its...its me" falling to my knees I grasp her hand, my vision blurred by my tears....
"Is my Billu crying? didnt he always say crying is a sign of weakness?" she says smiling
"Im not strong, im nothing....."
"Cute one listen to me, if we are strong our strength will speak for us, but if we are weak words wont help. So be strong Billu....be strong"
"Ai.."
"No, I know what you are going to say, so im going to tell you this, It is easy to dodge your responsibility Bilal, but you cannot dodge the consequences of dodging your responbility. You have to live and go on, and be strong....."
"NO! No you cant leave me! you said you would never leave me!....you...you promised" the last words I say in a whisper
"Oh Billu, my sweet Billu do you think im going to truly leave you" I shake my head not knowing, "Whenever you are in trouble are ever need help look in here" she raises a finger and lays it above my heart "Ill always be here just ask and listen I will whisper back"

"Aisha?" she fading, everything is fading, my world is spinning. I wake up by cat by my side, standing up I stride to my closet and throw on a robe and walk on to my porch. Hands on the rails the wind gently blowing my rope I wait for the sun to rise my cat comes and sits by my side, it is dark and cloudy outside where is the sun?

I remember my reaction when I was in the hospital, Even to this day I remember it is like a dream, a dream that I am holding on to but it will never come true...My sister coming back to me.

Nothing is more dangerous than an enemy with nothing to lose.....which is what I have become"
The sun shall not rise today.....

Crak des Chevaliers

Crak des Chevaliers. A very famous crusader Fortress never before has it been conqured when the Knights Templars took over it, although 13 seiges where layed upon the fortress it endured. It was finally takin by a Muslim Commander by trickery after the fall of the crusader states. this castle was built on the desgins based on muslim castles taking all the best ideas and putting it into this...it is truly amazing....i can go on and on about this Castle......

Some pics of Earths beauties

just some amazing pics i happned to come across, wow they are sinserly beautiful. Look at the beauties Allah (swt) created

another pics its just really breathless I would love to be there and witness this with my own eyes....Inshallah one day, one day

A Game of Thrones

My favorite series 'A song of Ice and Fire'

1 of my top 5 favorite pics.....just looking at her, asides from those astonishing eyes, look at her expression, her weather beatin face, her clothes it is amazing how much one can endure and yet still find the strength to carry on.....

Sorrow as the sun sets at Al-Humbra

We hurriedly marched through the twisting paths leading away from the Vale of Immortals to the Valley of Farah ('Joy' in Arabic) the rocks crunching underneath or footsteps, armor clanging , the deep breathing of men running in heavy armor. We received word that a Crusader raiding party has launched an attack here, numbering 211 against our own 100 knights. Faris was in charge of this regiment, a brave, loyal, and steadfast man, he could hold out but not for long.....

Carrion birds cicrled over the battlefield, dead everywhere quicky searching we found that the entire Knights of the Vale Farah where all dead but they took many of them enemy down with them. Off in the distance was the dust of the fleeing enemy, I quickly dispatch a runner to the castle and then my eyes fall upon Faris.....

We have been wounded in the height of our triumph. Sweeping my gaze around the bloodstained field before saying so all could hear,
"Faris died a warriors death! We will give him every honor and hope that his spirit has pleased God. Bear him and our companions back to the Al-Humbra on your shields...and do not be ashamed to let your tears be seen, for this is a day of sorrow that all will remember till the end of time. May we soon have the privilege os sheathing our blades in the monsters who have slain our comrades!"

As one the warriors put there right fist to their heart as they paid homage. The they stood and reverently lifted them on their shouldes. Already many of them wept, tears flowing into their beards, yet they did not disgrace their duty and allow their comdrades to fall. With solemn steps we marched back to the Al-Humbra

How long shall this go on?

So much racism within the Ummah over here in this very mosque! Towards are African-American brothers especially its disgusting. They must be Mashallah be blessed with much patience top be able to take it from the uncles....the once you wouldn't expect to be racist are in fact....man I do not know why im writing this prolly to just get out my frustration........

Ponderin.....

Maryam or Mariam (im not sure how she spells it), Jawad, N myself all broke our fast yesterday together im hopin I can get some more Muslims and that I can get a prayer inshallah established.....

We got ae team all set up n goin Bo Yeah!!!!!....but I cannot make the practices on monday:( due to my classes.....

Ramadan is almost over:S....there are still goals that I have not yet accomplished...theres so much to be done in so little time....im going to be scurrying aroun..... Asad
Inshallah I can start gettin back on my normal workout program and Inshallah I should be able to once again join the army by next year I still have not decided on when I want to go back in. I have been discussing it with my comrades and officers but I still have yet to decide. Also should i go regular or reserve?...and which regiment should I join?.....many choices......

Random.....yet again

I was sitting with a group of fellow intellectuals and we where debating the finer essence of belief, when one of the brothers said that he belies that dying for what you believe in is true courage. Idiris turns to me and asks
"Hey Bilal are you willing to die for what you believe in?"
Everyone looks at me already knowing my stance on dying and how little it means to me. A smile forms upon my face and I look deep into those astonishing blue eyes of his (he is one of the very few Arabs I know that has naturally blue eyes, even though his parents both have hazel eyes) and reply.....
"Many people have died for their beliefs yaqee; it's actually quite common, a grin appears on my face, the REAL courage is living and suffering for what you believe in."

I was in class with Maria and Laila, both of whom where recalling all these embarrassing events that have happened to me (which im naturally not going to repeat). As the giggle and laugh about it I try reading about Sigmin Freud but all that is running through my head is how people have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't.....

Chaos in the Mosque.......

Taraweeh prayers: Im am quite upset and annoyed with the Shoora and the uncles. After one prayer I step into the lobby for some fresh air im tired n when im tired I get annoyed easily. Some youth where juz talkin in the corner when an uncle comes up and yells at them and grabs one of them and was proceeding tto bodily grabs the unfortunate boy when I stepped in and with one hand grabbed the boy and with the other the uncles arm and forced him to let go of him. I then askes what he was thinking grabbing the boy like that.
"They make to much noise they have to pray blah blah blah" the uncle goes on.
"Whom says they must pray?.....where is it written in the Quran and/or the Sunnah that they MUST pray???" I reply.
"It is the Masjid law!" he says heatedy.
"Masjid law?...but not Islamic law. Who are you to enfoce this 'law'?"
He opens his mouth to reply, but I ball over him
"You are nobody, do not touch these kids you have no rite, you just broke The LAW when you grabbed him, we call it assault in which you can be charged put into prison for a minimum of 2 years with or without bail"
He walks of I then turn to the kids and tell them
"You must not talk so loud if you really need to talk outside by the shoes, or whisper ok?"
I lecture them for another 2 minutes before I tak my leave.


And the day before.....I walk into the lobby for a drink from there I stand and read some of the pampets when another uncles approaches me and says,
"Why are you standing here get inside!"
"Exuuuse me?" I reply turning my head, I am bewildered by his tone and frankly quite annoyed by it,
"You should be praying its the rule of the masjid if you dont pray dont come, you kids are all just trouble makers!" he says grabbing my arm his face was masked in anger,
I spin my arm around and his grip on my arms is gone, his arm flying wildly to the side.
"Do you think you can muscle the youth? I look up and turn my bodyfully, WE are the muscle!, If you ever dare to touch me again ill charge you with assault, and ill break every bone from your fingers to your shoulder you are not the first person I did it to and you wont be the last!!!" I walk off leaving the Masjid call up a crew guy and leave without ever turning back......

I realize me threatening him was not a good idea esically in the mosque, but im am not one whom lets ppl think they can boss me around, I do not bend to anybodies authority but God's. Tell me I cannot, should not, or will not do something then it is good as done.....

Tiger....

"Its Not The Size Of The Tiger In The Fight. Its The Size of The Fight In The Tiger"

....for my friend whom insisted I put this Quote on my page "It reminds me of you" (my friends words)....I should have told'em im no Tiger im a LION!!!

The Rising of a New Sun

Dawn has risen and the light of hope and happiness has swept across the lands sweeping away the pain and sorrow. What better way to unite a people then a common enemy?.....so it has been done. The 5 separate Fingers have formed into a Fist.....

The Al-Humbra

I Dreamt an old dream, I had known there faces well, but it seems that as time passes the faces begin to fade until they are but a mist. I have vowed not to forget there faces yet in my dreams they where but shadows. There they stood before me the sun bright as ever above us, we stood nobody making a move it was 11-5, any normal person would have no chance against 11 opponents, but these where no normal 5 but then again nor was my 10. Raja the Prince of the Mathas stood in the middle chest held up high, he felt larger than life. His men on this sides, he was a tall well built man known for his strength, he would need it today more than he had ever needed it before.
"And now it begins" he boomed.
"No now it ends" I reply with a sadness in my voice.
Both sides charged and met in a clash of steel........

The Eastern sky has rose and gold as the sun broke over the Valley of Immortals. I wake up with a start, shivering I put on my cloak (green with a white roaring lion) and stride to my balcony. There I stood watching the light spread, my hands resting on the delicate carved stone of a lion outside my window. Below me the world turned from black to indigo to green as dawn swept across the forests and fields....

A tiring morning.....Welcome to the Al-Humbra

Saturday morning after my Usra (with Brother Murtada, and Brother Nawid). I was dead exhausted. I came home got out of Brother Murtada's car and as I started walking to my house I felt my body fail me and I sat on the grass and rested.....

I was lying down on my grass after a long and tiring and I have dosed off......

I woke up but not on my grass but rather in the mountains, mountains that I did not reconzie but yet at the same time I did. I was on a mountain looking upon a tranquil land, it has rich coal black soil, wide gentle rivers, hundreds of small lakes that shone like mirrors in the bright sun, on all sides the land was sheltered by tall protective mountains. Looming ahead was a jagged peak all by itself. A tall mountain, so tall that other mountains looked up to it, there it stood alone by itself, its head lost in the icy mists 2-3 miles above the valley floor. On the westernmost lay a fortress. 10 wide towers thrust into the bell of the sky...it was a Haven for those whom come to seek its protective shelter....it was our Haven.....

I woke up with a start! my cat was there licking my fingers, I slowly sat up petted my cat deep in thought puzzled my this dream. I looked around my lawn the deep green grass with maple leaves of red and yellow draped across it, I looked at my home the bright red sun just over the roof, I looked across the road, looking at my area...my place......it was not tell then I came to a realization that I have dreamed this dream before....that lone jagged peak was the lonely mountain, that fortress was the AlHumbra (Court of the Lions).....this haven...it was..it was My Haven..I dreamed this such along time ago I remember that day as if it where yesterday......

Tears......continued

Muhammed (as.) sat quietly in the evening,
His companion asked 'O Beautiful man why do you sit there grieving?'
"My Ummah! those who follow me the future of the faith makes me worry till I cry,
my brother's and sisters in Islam will they be strong and carry on after I die"
The prophet stood silently and prayed,
His beard becoming wet as he cried for all his fears,
"O Allah dont let this nation fade"
As he pleaded through the night the earth around him filled with tears,
"My Ummah! those who follow me, the future of the faith makes me worry till I cry, my brother's and sisters in Islam will they be strong and carry on after I die"
Lalalala lalalala, Lalalalalalaaala
Lalalala lalalala, Lalalalalalaaala
A stillness fell over the land
As companions gathered to where the prophet lay,
As Aisha his wife
held tight to his hand
The prophet spoke again before he passed away
"My Ummah! those who follow me, the future of the faith makes me worry till I cry, my brother's and sisters in Islam will they be strong and carry on after I die,
'My brothers and sisters in Islam, will they be strong and carry on after I die?'
'My Ummah! those who follow me, the future of the faith makes me worry till I cry, my brother's and sisters in Islam will they be strong and carry on after I die!"
believers,
Brothers ans Sisters in Islam will we be strong and carry on until we die.


Such a beautiful song it always bring tears to my eyes.....

Jerusalem.....

Jerusalem.......A city of a thousand lights and a thousand swords.....A divided city in a divided world. It seems like conflict has been raging here since time is self has began, Muslims vs. Jews people who once got along even fought and died together there blood mingling as it ran down the bloody streets of Jerusalem during the sack by the Crusaders in the First Crusade. We where LIONS!!! nobody dared miss with us, "HEAR ME ROAR"...but today sadly the lion is sleeping...we are but a shadow of a Lion......Or so it would seem, the lion it crouched and ready to spring.

In the words of Sultan Abdul Hamid II when he was approached the the kaffir and offered at tremendous amout of money for the Islamic state of Palestine, "I am not going to give one inch of Palestine to the Jews. Palestine is not mine to give but it belongs to the Ummah, and the Ummah have shed blood to defend this land; but if one day should the Islamic state fall apart then you could have Palestine for free, but as ling as I am alive I would rather have my flesh be cut up then cut Palestine from the Muslim lands, I will not allow any carving while we are alive."

.....Prophets, wisemen, first born children, messiahs, tyrants, Romans, and crusader.....blood spilled across millions of acres for thousands of years. It's little wonder why the soil is so dry. How many tears, how much blood can the land absorb without finally turning away in shame and sorrow? There will be tears, and still there will be blood......Because this is Jerusalem

The setting of My Sun

Today begins my Isolation.....Dark Deeds in Dark Times.....Quareling with my boyz, tensions between the crews, arguments within the crew, blood, pain, bruises....cuts, slashes, holes...how has it come to this?

Tears......

As I was walking with my Arab guys, we are talking about the current political issues, world events (such as the earthquake in the Indian subcontinent), also we are talking about the Ummah here and internationally.......we are going to our cars when Yahya stops and cries out "We didn't pray asr yet!!!"....I look at my wacth and reply "By golly your are right we can make the Jammat inshallah if we hurry!"....to this a brother replies that we could have missed it and let us just make our own jammat......on this an argument erupts.....

I am standing there tearfully, in my head I remember a story I read once long ago when I was much younger. The Prophet (saw) on a campain before the warriors left he told them to march straight for there destination, and they left. As the army marched it was time for Salah....half wanted to stop and pray, while the other haplf sayed the Prophet (saw) sayed to march straight to their destination. So the army split 50/50....by the time the half that stayed and prayed first reached the battefiled the army that marched straight had already won the battle.

When the reached the Blessed city of Medina they told the Prophet (saw) what happened....The prophet sayed no side was at fault "this is how my Ummah will split" he sayed. Another time the blessed Prophet (saw) drew a fine straight line in the sand and drew branches from it and sayed "My Ummah will split in the 73 sects, they will split like I have drawin this...but one the ones on this path (the straight line) will enter Paradise" (Note: I have not quoted it excatly word per word)

As they continued to argue I looked around and my eyes fell upon Yahya who also had tears in his eyes we gazed upon each other, our eyes locked and I realized he was also remembering those Hadiths I told him......Abraham, Solomon, and Ariel back of letting us Muslims sort it out (2 Christian Arabs, and 1 Jewish Arab)

"ENOUGH!" I cry.
"We already missed whatever chance we had on cathing the Jammat thanks to your guys bickering, so we mite as well just make our own Jammat" sayes Yahya

And so we make our own Jammat....and after we reflect on whjat we did wrong and pray that it will never happne again and then we............

Randomness

Okay here we go......

Time: Between 4 and 6 am
Who: Moi
What: No idea
Where: My porch outside
When: stated above
Why: No idea, I suspect exsaution from the jog
How: Dont ask

So here I was sleepin on my porch at about yaaa 5 am?.....tired from my job, there gettin a bit harder with this weather.....They really need to build a side walk down 50th that runs all the wy to the Macs on 50th in Jackson Heights, I almost got ran over n ya.....when it starts snowing im going to have to start working out indoors :( .....

All them bluejays are eating my cats food!.....itz no wonder hes takin to eating them :P.....Itz amazing how much my area has changed so their so many brown ppl here now....makes you wonder where all them white folk went....it was fun with the light skin brothers....but thankfully theres still quite a few...and ya but hey!...the crew is still here and intact thas what matters :D....cept for kevin who is in the states, david in Switzerland, and I do believe thas it...oh n Raja whom is....I dont recall at the moment.

We all went to the same elementary, jr, and most of us where at page for gr.10, most left in gr.11 but we still chilled everyday........HOCKEY SEASON IS COMING UP BOO YEAAAAH!....ahhh the memories from last yrz street hockey....cant wait to live'em up again....we have been doing this since elementary.....

Whom do you hate the most?
A) George Bush
B) Ariel Sharon
C) Vladimir Putin
D) All of the above

Man I think Random is spreadin this "Randomness" everywhere and to everyone........

A Random Day

Yesterday me, Anin, Random, n Jocey went to west ed man it was good times...times I am uinlikely to eva forget nor do I think that any of us will......we watched 'Madagascar' oh my the King of the Lemurs sounded and reminded us sooo much of our dear freind Anin it was comedy....I like to move move it:P......we couldnt not stop laughin in that movie, we where soo loud i do believe that we had ruined it for others.....we had ice cream! :D......n ya we walked around havin a good time laughin....we went 2 le chateau where the sales associate was a gay guy....and man it was comedy anin was cutting him up soo bad we couldent restrain our laughter......n ya from ther we went or seperate ways....our seperate homes.....n got ome n called, msn, n commnicated with each other......i wore a traditonal arab garment for salah:D....I luv the feeling of showing I am muslim....i enjoy wearing these clothes they are so comfortable...and simple...on the friday i had a talk with brother Mumin....he has his own clothing line and asked if i was interested in modeling for his brand.....i cannot deny it the offer seemed to get my attention i have not modeled since gr.10 so i think i mite go for it again, i really do enjoy fashion and its a career i have been thinking of pursuing.....well that is that now i do believe i shall go and play some Rome Total War (my favorite pc game at the moment).

Here I am.....

All these ushers tryin to topple me, First the tried jumping me, then they tried killing me, then they tried crippling me, after all that they tried isolating me. One by one, two by two, then crew by crew....But Im STILL STANDING FOE!!!

All these so called 'friends', all them backstabbers. Spreading them shiet about me, thinking I dont know, thinking im not doin anything about it....I got somthin for ya'll....Do your worst! it aint gonna hurt me...its Stickz and Stones SON! On the Last Day, when you are on your knees begging for my forgiveness then we shall see what we shall see......

For all the people who judge me without even talking to me, without getting to know me. You THINK you know me. . . through the things you've heard...but you really don't because you've never asked me the actual truth that should be known. . . the game of pretend is oldschool my "friend". . .

To those young bucks trying to do me in.....You think your smart doing the things you do in the dark. . .well just know it will be revealed in the light.......

A Shout...to the ones who hated me it just made me a stronger person....to the ones who loved me my heart grew bigger cuz of all of you....to the ones who cared I gained a feeling of importance, something that was not there before....to the ones who worried someone actually cared....to the ones who left, well I guess nothing really lasts forever....to the ones who stayed the meaning of True Friendship stood strong, I thank you with all my heart. And my greatest gratitude goes to everyone who entered my life I am what I am because of all of you.......

Confusion

I had the most odd 'Dream'....but the thing is I am not sure if it is a dream or not :S ....cuz itz like a Nightmare!.....I do not even know where to begin I can barely remember it but here is what I remember rite now, here we go........

My rents are trying to get me married to this girl whom I do not like for the reason such as her personality, It is not that I hate her or anything it is more like a 'dislike, going to avoid her so not trouble brews' kinda thing. She is undoutabouly pretty and eveything but thinks to highly of herself (it comes from the modeling, models tend to think over highly of themselves trust me I kno this) for this I dislike about her and would rather not hang around her or be in the same vicinity as her.

The other part was Me n Mahmoud (1 of my best friends) where looking for a lost brother, it was very strange. It was in the past so we where armed with composite bows, samurai swords, shields, numerous knives, and I had a staff which had blades on both sides. We where wearing chain mail, bits of steel, and helmets, we where both dressed all in black and I hid my face as I am wont to do. I cant remember excatly how the dream went, and the parts I do remember I dont know how to put them into words.

This has got to be the most useless blog I have eva wrote but for some odd reason I have put it down becuz it has been bothering me so much.......

A Wonderful Experience

Wow ever since Ramadan has started I have been getting some proper sleep....man are these beautiful, I wake up fresh...Im ready to conquer the world!, kinda feeling,as I go for my jogs at 5 am itz pitch black the stars are still out, I cannot explain how phenomenal the feeling is, it is something you must do yourself to experience it.....itz pitch black, just the way I love it, I feel like the hunter, the stars are glittering above, the Moon!....the moon in its full splendor you see the beauties of Allah's creations, it so peaceful like the desert, alas! it is something I have yet to feel (how fortunate of Youcef, he has often told me about the feeling of it that he has experienced on the desert sands on Algeria, this is something I have not experienced so I can only imagine what it would be like, but I do get some sort of breeze of it in these mornings here in Canada). Inshallah 1 day I would like to go to Algeria.....the Sahara Desert!.....it is a dream of the future, but rite now I most not get lost in my dreams and concentrate on the present the reality right now....I must get back to my homework:(

A Random Day

Such a magical moment last nite, such a beautiful morning.......ahh I woke up from my beauty sleep the sun shinin on my face filling me with warmth........Oh Crap! my mind is racing im gonna be late!!!....I quickly wash my face, brush, change at such a rapid pace that im done everything all in five minutes........should I bus it???....To HELL with the Bus!!!....I grab the keys for the 240 n rush out the door, only to rush back in cuz I forgot my cell n then I rush out again, only to rush bak in cuz I forgot my hat n im out again. I get into my car n bang my head on the wheel for my stupidity I rush bak in to grab moi bag....n then I stop n think c what else im mite have missed I run a quick sweep n then im off again......and here I am studying with Maryham...well shes studying I am juz writing this entry while I take a short break n then perhaps grab a bite to 2 eat cuz im starving.....studying makes me hungry...wait coming to think of it almost everything makes me hungry:P......oh hol up!....I forgot im fasting...kape nvm....but yes I must get back to work for we have n exam this saturday........

Najma

Unless your heart is a dance of hope, how can your life be a song of peace?.....Last night after fiishing my class I ran into none other then the One and the Only..........The New Chicken Jawad Jaweed!!!!! (inside joke:P) man it was good times we laughed n joked around, we where having a comedy time....then WHOOOSH there goes my Bus!!!! ...from there I had to run bout yaa 2 blocks?...perhaps 3?....cuz in the mist of our merriment ic my bus zoom by...the smile on my face turns into shock, my eyes go wide....throwing caution to the winds I say a quick salam, and dash across the street and run as fast and as long as I can, fortunately for me I am in great shape and have a lot of stamina, my initial reaction was that I couldn't catch it because I just sat 2 hrs in class and it waz clod outside to my joint where all stiff but by the Grace of God as soon as I saw that bus by body sprang into action.....I felt like a shooting star, man I do I love beingin shape! :D

Beacons of Light

This saturday was the "Beacons of Light' at the U of A, it was really fun I enjoyed it pretty much, amazing food (thas a big one:P), Excellent speeches (about the companions of the Prophet (saw)), Crazy movies, Man that Hijabi freestyling was just mad me n muhummed where were in shock it waz quite insane, but I did not think it was such a good idea to actually show her freestyling instead it would have been better to just hear her, And they where showin this one sister whom a kaffir girl called 'rag head' numerously, n after the girl fell down the muslim sister instead of doing what she did I think her reaction should have been different somthing that instead of skiing down to that kaffir gurl and sayin what she did n leaving she should have helped her up or somthin to show that we Muslims are different we set the example (but again I am not judging I am merely reminding everyone, myself first and foremost)

At lunch me, Muhammed, Sami, Mahdi, Mahmoud, and another brother who name I didnt not catch went to the buttedome n played 2 0n 2 kkings court, these where some of the best and most competitive games I eva played Sami was on my team and in all honesty I belive he is the one who won us every game we played......

Ali, Murtada, Hafsah, Mahdi, Mahmoud, and Sami where the only people I really recall seeing whom represent page, I was expecting alot more and was quite shocked not seeing them there......

The only bad things that happened was 1. my soccer ball which was a gift was stolen from me, I lent it to 2 little boys so they could have fun while I listen to the speeches after that I was told that another kid took it sayin he found it so it wasd his....this made me really upset and aded to my stress, I have been really stressed and close to losing my temper on severaloccasions already, my temper is quite short at the momnt becuz my bottle of feeling is overfull and ready to burst already there are alot of cracks in it.

The second wa the behaviour of the kids on the bus i nearly lost it when he tried fighting me....do these kids have no manners. I am not used to ppl showing me attitude let alone pushing me.......it was very hard for me to let if go, but in the end I did.......that is enough fro now for I am starting to get upset once again..............

YA Ramadan!

Ramadan is almost here!!!!! :D....I feel like a lil kid once again....Ramdan has alwayz been a time of happnies, it bring back so many memories

A Rainfall of Ashes

Time, Friends, Enemies, and Ashes
Times are getting tough...school is demanding more of my time......the crew...the crew.....man these things going on it could drive any normal man insane...thank god I am no normal person.....it makes me chuckle when people come up to me and say "hey I saw a person who looks like you" or "you remind me of someone" to these I reply 'No my friend your are wrong there is nobody who looks like me or reminds you of me...there is just me'At the moment Im still quite upset with random N maharani....do you not hate it when someone takes a stranger over you?....makes one feel like goin wth....n walk away........

Your freinds can become enemies, and your enemies can become freinds can they not?.....At times it can be hard to distinguish who is an enemy or a freind....but there are ways to tell before they hurt you.....friends....trust.....such small words but with some much power behind them.....some people take it for granted.....how do you protect yourself from your 'friends'?...Mahmoud had a good way to put it 'God defend me from my friends, from my enemies I can defend myself with."....I have often contemplated on this.......

Im walking away from all these troubles in my life.....I just cant seem to...theres juz so much to ponder and do.....Confusing times....the future is hazy...what must I do?.....I cant seem to comprehend, on 1 side I wanna....it is like to completely different sides of a scale...Forgiveness or punishment before I leave......my mind is thrashing...it is as if the a horde of angry bees ate trapped in side my head......

Being Muslim.....it offers many challenges....Challenges I relish for I am alwayz up for one...or two...even three......

I love prowling at night...I feel as if I am the hunter, I love it because I am hidden......for some reason I cant really explain why but I like being alone...as strange as it seems as much as I like being with friends I would rather be alone....A loner one may ay...very well I dont mind....it gives me time to ponder on things and contemplate on other things.....

At parties such as fundraising dinners I see people having a good time stuffing themselves with food, throwing food in the garbage...what I dont understand is...theres people starving ad here you are throwing away food and stuffing yourself to the point where you are going to burst?????.......also at other dinners and get togethers.....sorrow grips my heart, and tears blur my vision because the past comes up from behind me like lighting I see the people who have passed on...both the young and old that I loved...from family to crew...I see them there...I wish they are there to enjoy this happiness....I walk out and try picturing what it wou;d be like if they where there....sometimes it will work (most times it does not) it is hard for me to be happy because what is true happiness???...I believe I had it once...but it is dead in the graves with my fallin comrades.....I feel as if I am not here to enjoy happiness because when ever I have come close it turns into ashes within my mouth........this is why I tend to go home instead of chillin (oh there are a few other minor reasons and well 1 major)....I want to be happy but it is ery hard to find...and when I do find it it quickly slips away from my grasp.....ashes upon ashes

Strange.....

Just an amazing picture that I chanced to come across...the Blood Red Sun

Aisha

The scent was faint beneath the other smells, beneath the moss and mud and water, and the stench of rotting reeds and rotting men.....We proceeded slowly through the soft ground to the river's edge, I splashed some water on my face, and lifted my head up once again and sniffed. The sky was dark and thick with grey clouds, the once clear river red full of floating dead and decaying things. Dead men clogged the shallows, some which were still moving as the water pushed them, others washed up on the banks. My brothers swarmed around them identifying who they are....They are all innocent civilians, panic grips me my eyes search vainly for the something I hope is not here although I get the strangest feeling in my gut that it is here among the dead. There are carrion birds there too, screaming at my Lions and filling the air with feathers. I search for it, the feeling getting stronger, as I search harder I can hear the grumbles of my lions the tears and cries of revenge, the shrieks if angry birds, the whir of wings and the sound of running water. There! I think I see it...Yes it is..Something pale and white drifting down the river, turning where it brushed against a snag, the reeds bowing down before it.

I rapidly stripe of my gear and drop my gun and splash noisily through the shallows and throw myself into the deeper water my arms and legs are churing. The current is strong, but I am stronger. I swim never loosing site of it, the river is full of dead things and other objects but none of them matter only what I came into this bloodied river matters. I swim towards the sharp whisper of cold blood, the horrible cloying stench of death. I shake it to make it move, but there is only death and blood. I realize I was starting to tire, and was all I could do to pull the body back to shore. As I dragged it up the the muddy bank one of my brothers cam up and gave me a hand. The pale body lay face down in the mud, the dead flesh wrinkled and pale, cold blood trinkaling down its wounds. I turn the body over and give a cry of dismay I shake the body
"Rise....Rise and don't leave us please" I keep shaking it
"don't be dead...don't be...ya Aisha get up...Get up Aisha....AISHAAAAAAA!!!!!!" hugging the body I begin the cry my body shaking with my sobs. My Lions surround me tears in there eyes, Aisha was loved my all with her generosity, understanding, warming smiles and shy innoncence.
"Sir, we cannot let this go unpunished!!!" Captain Ali says
"Revenge, Revenge" cry my comrades
I look up my vision blurry from my tears I glance at her lovely face and gentle...ever so gently I close her eyes, "No, not revenge Aisha would never like that, it would be an insult to her memory"
"Sir!, then what if not revenge sir?" a Lion asks
"Not revenge....Justice, Justice for all these people and Aisha....especially Aisha"

With in the hour we have buried all the bodies except Aisha's. This one I buried on a hill where we had often talked beneath the beautiful fruit tree, with the sun and clouds above her, a bountiful number of roses grow along side the tree, and the rain to wash her clean. As we break camp we hear the sound of vehicles. They are coming from the north my scouts report the are Republican Guard soldiers boldly heading this way burning and killing as they go. I quickly bark out orders and the trap is set......now comes the Justice for these folk.....the Justice for AISHA!.....Aisha.......aisha..........

Cheese, Apples, and Soccer

mmmmmm this is some good a** cheese, hey how come nobody told me how good the cheese was?!?!?!?....stupid fother muckers SLAP!!!!



Me (right) nawid, n then jamil (i think thas how u spell it) At the Calgary Soccer Tournie.......man thas was some good cheese, n apples lets not forget them apples...mmmmm cheeseeeeeeeee *drool*

Too many sleepless nights.....

I have been having so much trouble sleeping over the past few nights, I believe insomnia is starting to kick in once again....But then again the nights I do manage to get into my bed, the moment I close my weary eyes hoping for a nice relaxing dreamless sleep (although I cant complain if its a good dream), but even this is not allowed to me for when I sleep....I dream....And when I have Dreams I dream of the Glory of the Ummah, thingz that must be done....that WILL be done.....And when I sleep I have Nightmares.....they are of forbidding doom that can or has come...most of them I dare no write down for they have left me close to death...loss of color in my face, drenched in cold sweat, gasping for breath....as I contemplate on these I realize some of these nightmares...parts of them are true.....I had been such a cruel person to my enemies....even the slightest sign of disobedience from allies and friends to insolence from anyone would be punished....the severity depending on my mood...this is who I was...I look at it I would never...never go back to it.....I was born Muslim, I will live a Muslim, and I will Die a Muslim....these words are easy to say but they hard hard to keep, but keep them I shall;to my dying day for I am a Muslim.....

There are those out there who think they have things on me...how wrong they are....it makes me chuckle thinkin how they think there smart but really they don't realize I planted that rumor about mme to get info who is talkin about me, I would go to the extent where I would tell some1 to call ppl up give them a story n they would cry, yell w/e it took to convince those fools.....they don't realize the steps I take to make sure my movements are covered and ahhhh I could go on with this but it would take much to long...and why give out my secrets???.....to some I am alot more than they think I am....for example does a skinny, short, person who doesn't like talking to much such as myself post any threat or interest???.....many think no...but the wiser.....well they are wise after all........contemplate

Ramadan

Ramadan

Ramadan

Ramadan is almost upon us...what have we prepared for it?...this is a question ye mos ask oneself......

Ramadan

Ramadan...The Glorious month of Ramadan, it is almost upon us...and what have we done to prepare for it??? In this month the Shaytan (Devil) is chained up, the Gates of Mercy are throwin wide upon for all those who care to enter them. It is a time where we normally Halal (permissible) things become Haram (prohibited), and Haram things become well very or extremely Haram.....

A Cold Night...A Cold Morning...

Today I woke up drenched in cold sweat gasping for air, I looked at my clock it is 8 am there is no sun it is dark outside with the promise of rain on possibly thunderstorms. Dark weather...but not so nearly as dark as my nightmare.

I am running as fast as I can almost flying my feet barley touch the ground with each stride, then I trip over something and ma world goes spinning. Im facing down a usher whom made the mistake of annoying one of my good friends. The guy thinkin hes all smart and slick tries wooing her but fails miserably and now this young buck has to deal with me.
"Im sorry she's hot and she's really smart like me, so I thought we could be friends" he says
"There is such a fine line between stupid and clever wouldn't you agree?" I reply
"Man shut the f**k up u don't know who you are messin wit all kick ur f***in a** motha f*****r"
"Go ahead ur free 2 try foe"
He raises his fists, I stand on the balls of my feet ready to swing into action but I keep my hands down n my eyes locked on his thought I blink often to keep my eye balls moist, but this idiot keeps staring at me (In case of a fight dry eyes (from staring) slow your reaction time for a bit, which can cost you, this is why I kept on blinking...staring contests are for amateurs)
"Go on throw the first punch I'll charge you with assault, you will lose your car in the civil, AND you will get the biggest ass kicking of your life as I defend myself CHOOSE NOW FOE."

Another whirlwind......the last three nightmares are too much for even me I dare not repeat the ones I had....but the affect they had on me I woke up shivering, drenched in cold sweat gasping for breath...death, destruction, pain...so much pain!.....that was my past

We are all haunted by our past, We are haunted by the things we have done. Or the things we havent done. Even our Future can be haunted...unless be bring about a change in ourselves.....We run from the past but we can never escape it. Because it is alwayz behind us.....always following

The Mighy have Fallin

"We got him sir"
"Bring him" I order
"Yes Sir!" the soldier replies

It is a crystal clear night the stars are shining ever so bright, the moon in its full splendor as if it where a tribute to our latest victory. Across the blood soaked mountains lies the dead bodies of both the Oppressed and the Oppressors, ironic how it is because these mountain are after all called the bloody range and this very one we are on is the Mt. Of the Dead, the names are old perhaps just as old as these mountains. They are called the bloody range because for 1 they are all red instead of grey, that and this by before was the spot of 3 immense battle grounds the Mt. Of the Dead is basically a huge grave yard where the dead of the past have been buried and now they will enjoy the company of many more today, *sigh* so many dead, so many stupid fools dead.

And here is the enemy general his once proud face defeated, his proud face hung down, his shoulders slumped in shame....The biggest fool out of them and not mention a coward.

"Report" is all I say
"The enemy Commander sir, General _____ ____"
"Ah General what has happened to you, what has happened to your great army" I ask mockingly
He has nothing to say he can only stare at the ground.....So be it
"Look at me General, or you will wish you had"
He looks up, there is fear in his eyes...Why am I not surprised, with his Republican Guard army surrounded and annihilated, his best men and officers takin out by my Elite Night's Watch snipers, he is all alone.....I smile, a reassuring smile
"don't worry General I will not do anything to you nor will any of my men" I tell him, his eyes show a sign of hope and tells me that hes going to make me regret it.
"But I cannot say the same about the mountain clans, you remember them don't you?...you gassed them, raped there women, killed there children and enslaved there men" his eyes go wide with shock and the fear returns
"But...but ...but"
"Move out" I order
"Oh and 1 more thing General, I did this to you so remember me"
He is tied down and my army is on the move again.....ahhh Dawn once again, it looks a lot more beautiful on this side of the mountain.

Another Random Day

Today waz quite a rare day....I ran into a good freind Aliya :D......itz been along time since we last talked obth of us really busy with our seperate lives it waz good 2 see n talk to her afta so long...i randomly ran into her at city centre...n ya we walked n chilled for a bit before we had 2 go our seperate wayz once again......

Walking N Flying N Floating

3 pics: as the clouds clash with the sky a mortal walks by and gulls fly unknown to them the events within the sky...

A Random Day

Yesterday wuz quite the interesting day.....afta buying colone (dont know how 2 spell it) oh man it smeels soo good 'Obsession' by i dont recall the name...i thin itz CK, or Raulph Lauren (cant spell that either :P)....n ya i ran into Saher man i havent had the chnace to talk 2 her for such along time it waz good seeing her once again....so ya we talked about school, future, n stuff like tha she had a crazy CK hijab which gave me some ideas for my muslim clothing line (soon 2 be inshallah) n ya from there i dont really rem the rest of the day cept school omg it waz so0o0o0o00 BORING im surprised i didnt fall asleep :D ........but ya from there stupid JJ tried ditchin me but ya i ran what 3-4-5 blocks? to catch that bvus n then ya we walked in D-town for a bit while waitn for our bus then we went our seperate wayz n ya that waz my day :D

on the way 2 n from monday nite bball

top pic: juz a pretty pic look like a trench kinda from boot camp :P
second las pic: see how the 2 clash the dark clouds and the bright sky, evil vs. good.....n juz ignore me, i have no diea what i juz sayed:P



<--beneath the stormy sky, above the green sea....is civilization

Faith

"What can my enemies do to me? My paradise is in my heart, it is with me wherever I go. To imprison me is to provide me with seclusion. To send me into exile is to send me away in the Path of Allah. And to kill me is to make me a martyr." - Ibn Taymeeyah

Thas pretty mad i luve it!!! :D....now thas FAITH

Swift Sunnah Swishers

The
Swift Sunnah Swishers--l
<-----------------------------l

Staring the Elite Ballers (from left to right)

Bilal (moi), Umar, Nawid, Youcef, Muhammed


A litlle about my fellow ballers......

Muhammed: An Elite all round player with crazy rebounds and amazing defensive and offensive skills.
Youcef: An Elite player with unmatched offensive skills and team coordination, awsome shooter, driver and passer.
Nawid: An Elite player with amazing drives, and even better team coordination, undisputed brotherhood.
Umar: An Elite player with awsome offenvise capablities staunch defense, excellent drives and passes.


HONOUR COURAGE LOYALTY

The Hammer of Justice

Dawn....the starting of a new day.....

A bright semi circular object rising bodly against the blood red sky, it's long fingers of light shine across the battlefield. Showing the aftermath of carnage that has inflicted the human race, bringing warmth where otherwise there is no warmth, showering light making us see what we could not see before.....the sun has risin

We attacked at sunset, our Black Guard's Elite unit the Black Watch struck first taking out there sentries the light sound of there combat boots gliding across the grass as they moved in for the kill....they stop go down aim and fire...a small flash and a even smaller sound as there snipers take out the sentries all you can see is a mans head throw back as the bullet marked with his name goes in through one side and out the other.

The Elite Imperial Guard Stormtroopers will move in attacking from all four sides the main thrust at the centre contains two regiments. The Lions of Islam, and Hizbolloh (soldiers of Allah); on the right wing is the Tigers of Allah, on the left comes the Falcons of Faith, and taking the enemy from the rear is the Panthers, who will move in after the air stike by the Eagles.

A deadly fight insures at the starting as they make us fight for every house of every block across the city but with there strong points, command centre, and supply depot's eliminated, we quickly over run the there futile attempts to stop our forces. They are no match for my Elite Imperial Guard Stromtroopers, at every point of resistence they wither call in an air strike or heavy fire then they rush in throwing grenades and finishing of what ever is left with there bullets those who give up or spared and taking prisioner.

By dusk the city is in our complete control, we have won a crushing victory over our foes they have lost and importent military city and we have cut of there supply routes. All that now remains is to finish of what we started....Justice for those whom commited crimes against the people and the land.

The Sun is setting and with it the good and joy.....in the heart of the city park we find the truth of what has been going on in this city, the slave labour, rapes, genocide all the worst crimes a human can commit have been commited here. As I stand over the bodies what they did to deserve this, my thoughts are interupted......

"How can anybody do such a thing?...why does such oppresion fall upon there defenseless people sir?" Officer Ahmed asks
I reply "Oppression falls on the weak the the defenseless such as these orphans, women, childeren, and all these other citizens for they do not possess the horrible weapons and invasive intelligence apartus of their oppressors. "
"They will pay for this, what shall we do now sir?"
"We will give them the justice they deserve. Move out!"

And so we depart after burying the dead...melting in the night is the hammer of justice......