YA Ramadan!

Ramadan is almost here!!!!! :D....I feel like a lil kid once again....Ramdan has alwayz been a time of happnies, it bring back so many memories

A Rainfall of Ashes

Time, Friends, Enemies, and Ashes
Times are getting tough...school is demanding more of my time......the crew...the crew.....man these things going on it could drive any normal man insane...thank god I am no normal person.....it makes me chuckle when people come up to me and say "hey I saw a person who looks like you" or "you remind me of someone" to these I reply 'No my friend your are wrong there is nobody who looks like me or reminds you of me...there is just me'At the moment Im still quite upset with random N maharani....do you not hate it when someone takes a stranger over you?....makes one feel like goin wth....n walk away........

Your freinds can become enemies, and your enemies can become freinds can they not?.....At times it can be hard to distinguish who is an enemy or a freind....but there are ways to tell before they hurt you.....friends....trust.....such small words but with some much power behind them.....some people take it for granted.....how do you protect yourself from your 'friends'?...Mahmoud had a good way to put it 'God defend me from my friends, from my enemies I can defend myself with."....I have often contemplated on this.......

Im walking away from all these troubles in my life.....I just cant seem to...theres juz so much to ponder and do.....Confusing times....the future is hazy...what must I do?.....I cant seem to comprehend, on 1 side I wanna....it is like to completely different sides of a scale...Forgiveness or punishment before I leave......my mind is thrashing...it is as if the a horde of angry bees ate trapped in side my head......

Being Muslim.....it offers many challenges....Challenges I relish for I am alwayz up for one...or two...even three......

I love prowling at night...I feel as if I am the hunter, I love it because I am hidden......for some reason I cant really explain why but I like being alone...as strange as it seems as much as I like being with friends I would rather be alone....A loner one may ay...very well I dont mind....it gives me time to ponder on things and contemplate on other things.....

At parties such as fundraising dinners I see people having a good time stuffing themselves with food, throwing food in the garbage...what I dont understand is...theres people starving ad here you are throwing away food and stuffing yourself to the point where you are going to burst?????.......also at other dinners and get togethers.....sorrow grips my heart, and tears blur my vision because the past comes up from behind me like lighting I see the people who have passed on...both the young and old that I loved...from family to crew...I see them there...I wish they are there to enjoy this happiness....I walk out and try picturing what it wou;d be like if they where there....sometimes it will work (most times it does not) it is hard for me to be happy because what is true happiness???...I believe I had it once...but it is dead in the graves with my fallin comrades.....I feel as if I am not here to enjoy happiness because when ever I have come close it turns into ashes within my mouth........this is why I tend to go home instead of chillin (oh there are a few other minor reasons and well 1 major)....I want to be happy but it is ery hard to find...and when I do find it it quickly slips away from my grasp.....ashes upon ashes

Strange.....

Just an amazing picture that I chanced to come across...the Blood Red Sun

Aisha

The scent was faint beneath the other smells, beneath the moss and mud and water, and the stench of rotting reeds and rotting men.....We proceeded slowly through the soft ground to the river's edge, I splashed some water on my face, and lifted my head up once again and sniffed. The sky was dark and thick with grey clouds, the once clear river red full of floating dead and decaying things. Dead men clogged the shallows, some which were still moving as the water pushed them, others washed up on the banks. My brothers swarmed around them identifying who they are....They are all innocent civilians, panic grips me my eyes search vainly for the something I hope is not here although I get the strangest feeling in my gut that it is here among the dead. There are carrion birds there too, screaming at my Lions and filling the air with feathers. I search for it, the feeling getting stronger, as I search harder I can hear the grumbles of my lions the tears and cries of revenge, the shrieks if angry birds, the whir of wings and the sound of running water. There! I think I see it...Yes it is..Something pale and white drifting down the river, turning where it brushed against a snag, the reeds bowing down before it.

I rapidly stripe of my gear and drop my gun and splash noisily through the shallows and throw myself into the deeper water my arms and legs are churing. The current is strong, but I am stronger. I swim never loosing site of it, the river is full of dead things and other objects but none of them matter only what I came into this bloodied river matters. I swim towards the sharp whisper of cold blood, the horrible cloying stench of death. I shake it to make it move, but there is only death and blood. I realize I was starting to tire, and was all I could do to pull the body back to shore. As I dragged it up the the muddy bank one of my brothers cam up and gave me a hand. The pale body lay face down in the mud, the dead flesh wrinkled and pale, cold blood trinkaling down its wounds. I turn the body over and give a cry of dismay I shake the body
"Rise....Rise and don't leave us please" I keep shaking it
"don't be dead...don't be...ya Aisha get up...Get up Aisha....AISHAAAAAAA!!!!!!" hugging the body I begin the cry my body shaking with my sobs. My Lions surround me tears in there eyes, Aisha was loved my all with her generosity, understanding, warming smiles and shy innoncence.
"Sir, we cannot let this go unpunished!!!" Captain Ali says
"Revenge, Revenge" cry my comrades
I look up my vision blurry from my tears I glance at her lovely face and gentle...ever so gently I close her eyes, "No, not revenge Aisha would never like that, it would be an insult to her memory"
"Sir!, then what if not revenge sir?" a Lion asks
"Not revenge....Justice, Justice for all these people and Aisha....especially Aisha"

With in the hour we have buried all the bodies except Aisha's. This one I buried on a hill where we had often talked beneath the beautiful fruit tree, with the sun and clouds above her, a bountiful number of roses grow along side the tree, and the rain to wash her clean. As we break camp we hear the sound of vehicles. They are coming from the north my scouts report the are Republican Guard soldiers boldly heading this way burning and killing as they go. I quickly bark out orders and the trap is set......now comes the Justice for these folk.....the Justice for AISHA!.....Aisha.......aisha..........

Cheese, Apples, and Soccer

mmmmmm this is some good a** cheese, hey how come nobody told me how good the cheese was?!?!?!?....stupid fother muckers SLAP!!!!



Me (right) nawid, n then jamil (i think thas how u spell it) At the Calgary Soccer Tournie.......man thas was some good cheese, n apples lets not forget them apples...mmmmm cheeseeeeeeeee *drool*

Too many sleepless nights.....

I have been having so much trouble sleeping over the past few nights, I believe insomnia is starting to kick in once again....But then again the nights I do manage to get into my bed, the moment I close my weary eyes hoping for a nice relaxing dreamless sleep (although I cant complain if its a good dream), but even this is not allowed to me for when I sleep....I dream....And when I have Dreams I dream of the Glory of the Ummah, thingz that must be done....that WILL be done.....And when I sleep I have Nightmares.....they are of forbidding doom that can or has come...most of them I dare no write down for they have left me close to death...loss of color in my face, drenched in cold sweat, gasping for breath....as I contemplate on these I realize some of these nightmares...parts of them are true.....I had been such a cruel person to my enemies....even the slightest sign of disobedience from allies and friends to insolence from anyone would be punished....the severity depending on my mood...this is who I was...I look at it I would never...never go back to it.....I was born Muslim, I will live a Muslim, and I will Die a Muslim....these words are easy to say but they hard hard to keep, but keep them I shall;to my dying day for I am a Muslim.....

There are those out there who think they have things on me...how wrong they are....it makes me chuckle thinkin how they think there smart but really they don't realize I planted that rumor about mme to get info who is talkin about me, I would go to the extent where I would tell some1 to call ppl up give them a story n they would cry, yell w/e it took to convince those fools.....they don't realize the steps I take to make sure my movements are covered and ahhhh I could go on with this but it would take much to long...and why give out my secrets???.....to some I am alot more than they think I am....for example does a skinny, short, person who doesn't like talking to much such as myself post any threat or interest???.....many think no...but the wiser.....well they are wise after all........contemplate

Ramadan

Ramadan

Ramadan

Ramadan is almost upon us...what have we prepared for it?...this is a question ye mos ask oneself......

Ramadan

Ramadan...The Glorious month of Ramadan, it is almost upon us...and what have we done to prepare for it??? In this month the Shaytan (Devil) is chained up, the Gates of Mercy are throwin wide upon for all those who care to enter them. It is a time where we normally Halal (permissible) things become Haram (prohibited), and Haram things become well very or extremely Haram.....

A Cold Night...A Cold Morning...

Today I woke up drenched in cold sweat gasping for air, I looked at my clock it is 8 am there is no sun it is dark outside with the promise of rain on possibly thunderstorms. Dark weather...but not so nearly as dark as my nightmare.

I am running as fast as I can almost flying my feet barley touch the ground with each stride, then I trip over something and ma world goes spinning. Im facing down a usher whom made the mistake of annoying one of my good friends. The guy thinkin hes all smart and slick tries wooing her but fails miserably and now this young buck has to deal with me.
"Im sorry she's hot and she's really smart like me, so I thought we could be friends" he says
"There is such a fine line between stupid and clever wouldn't you agree?" I reply
"Man shut the f**k up u don't know who you are messin wit all kick ur f***in a** motha f*****r"
"Go ahead ur free 2 try foe"
He raises his fists, I stand on the balls of my feet ready to swing into action but I keep my hands down n my eyes locked on his thought I blink often to keep my eye balls moist, but this idiot keeps staring at me (In case of a fight dry eyes (from staring) slow your reaction time for a bit, which can cost you, this is why I kept on blinking...staring contests are for amateurs)
"Go on throw the first punch I'll charge you with assault, you will lose your car in the civil, AND you will get the biggest ass kicking of your life as I defend myself CHOOSE NOW FOE."

Another whirlwind......the last three nightmares are too much for even me I dare not repeat the ones I had....but the affect they had on me I woke up shivering, drenched in cold sweat gasping for breath...death, destruction, pain...so much pain!.....that was my past

We are all haunted by our past, We are haunted by the things we have done. Or the things we havent done. Even our Future can be haunted...unless be bring about a change in ourselves.....We run from the past but we can never escape it. Because it is alwayz behind us.....always following

The Mighy have Fallin

"We got him sir"
"Bring him" I order
"Yes Sir!" the soldier replies

It is a crystal clear night the stars are shining ever so bright, the moon in its full splendor as if it where a tribute to our latest victory. Across the blood soaked mountains lies the dead bodies of both the Oppressed and the Oppressors, ironic how it is because these mountain are after all called the bloody range and this very one we are on is the Mt. Of the Dead, the names are old perhaps just as old as these mountains. They are called the bloody range because for 1 they are all red instead of grey, that and this by before was the spot of 3 immense battle grounds the Mt. Of the Dead is basically a huge grave yard where the dead of the past have been buried and now they will enjoy the company of many more today, *sigh* so many dead, so many stupid fools dead.

And here is the enemy general his once proud face defeated, his proud face hung down, his shoulders slumped in shame....The biggest fool out of them and not mention a coward.

"Report" is all I say
"The enemy Commander sir, General _____ ____"
"Ah General what has happened to you, what has happened to your great army" I ask mockingly
He has nothing to say he can only stare at the ground.....So be it
"Look at me General, or you will wish you had"
He looks up, there is fear in his eyes...Why am I not surprised, with his Republican Guard army surrounded and annihilated, his best men and officers takin out by my Elite Night's Watch snipers, he is all alone.....I smile, a reassuring smile
"don't worry General I will not do anything to you nor will any of my men" I tell him, his eyes show a sign of hope and tells me that hes going to make me regret it.
"But I cannot say the same about the mountain clans, you remember them don't you?...you gassed them, raped there women, killed there children and enslaved there men" his eyes go wide with shock and the fear returns
"But...but ...but"
"Move out" I order
"Oh and 1 more thing General, I did this to you so remember me"
He is tied down and my army is on the move again.....ahhh Dawn once again, it looks a lot more beautiful on this side of the mountain.

Another Random Day

Today waz quite a rare day....I ran into a good freind Aliya :D......itz been along time since we last talked obth of us really busy with our seperate lives it waz good 2 see n talk to her afta so long...i randomly ran into her at city centre...n ya we walked n chilled for a bit before we had 2 go our seperate wayz once again......

Walking N Flying N Floating

3 pics: as the clouds clash with the sky a mortal walks by and gulls fly unknown to them the events within the sky...

A Random Day

Yesterday wuz quite the interesting day.....afta buying colone (dont know how 2 spell it) oh man it smeels soo good 'Obsession' by i dont recall the name...i thin itz CK, or Raulph Lauren (cant spell that either :P)....n ya i ran into Saher man i havent had the chnace to talk 2 her for such along time it waz good seeing her once again....so ya we talked about school, future, n stuff like tha she had a crazy CK hijab which gave me some ideas for my muslim clothing line (soon 2 be inshallah) n ya from there i dont really rem the rest of the day cept school omg it waz so0o0o0o00 BORING im surprised i didnt fall asleep :D ........but ya from there stupid JJ tried ditchin me but ya i ran what 3-4-5 blocks? to catch that bvus n then ya we walked in D-town for a bit while waitn for our bus then we went our seperate wayz n ya that waz my day :D

on the way 2 n from monday nite bball

top pic: juz a pretty pic look like a trench kinda from boot camp :P
second las pic: see how the 2 clash the dark clouds and the bright sky, evil vs. good.....n juz ignore me, i have no diea what i juz sayed:P



<--beneath the stormy sky, above the green sea....is civilization

Faith

"What can my enemies do to me? My paradise is in my heart, it is with me wherever I go. To imprison me is to provide me with seclusion. To send me into exile is to send me away in the Path of Allah. And to kill me is to make me a martyr." - Ibn Taymeeyah

Thas pretty mad i luve it!!! :D....now thas FAITH

Swift Sunnah Swishers

The
Swift Sunnah Swishers--l
<-----------------------------l

Staring the Elite Ballers (from left to right)

Bilal (moi), Umar, Nawid, Youcef, Muhammed


A litlle about my fellow ballers......

Muhammed: An Elite all round player with crazy rebounds and amazing defensive and offensive skills.
Youcef: An Elite player with unmatched offensive skills and team coordination, awsome shooter, driver and passer.
Nawid: An Elite player with amazing drives, and even better team coordination, undisputed brotherhood.
Umar: An Elite player with awsome offenvise capablities staunch defense, excellent drives and passes.


HONOUR COURAGE LOYALTY

The Hammer of Justice

Dawn....the starting of a new day.....

A bright semi circular object rising bodly against the blood red sky, it's long fingers of light shine across the battlefield. Showing the aftermath of carnage that has inflicted the human race, bringing warmth where otherwise there is no warmth, showering light making us see what we could not see before.....the sun has risin

We attacked at sunset, our Black Guard's Elite unit the Black Watch struck first taking out there sentries the light sound of there combat boots gliding across the grass as they moved in for the kill....they stop go down aim and fire...a small flash and a even smaller sound as there snipers take out the sentries all you can see is a mans head throw back as the bullet marked with his name goes in through one side and out the other.

The Elite Imperial Guard Stormtroopers will move in attacking from all four sides the main thrust at the centre contains two regiments. The Lions of Islam, and Hizbolloh (soldiers of Allah); on the right wing is the Tigers of Allah, on the left comes the Falcons of Faith, and taking the enemy from the rear is the Panthers, who will move in after the air stike by the Eagles.

A deadly fight insures at the starting as they make us fight for every house of every block across the city but with there strong points, command centre, and supply depot's eliminated, we quickly over run the there futile attempts to stop our forces. They are no match for my Elite Imperial Guard Stromtroopers, at every point of resistence they wither call in an air strike or heavy fire then they rush in throwing grenades and finishing of what ever is left with there bullets those who give up or spared and taking prisioner.

By dusk the city is in our complete control, we have won a crushing victory over our foes they have lost and importent military city and we have cut of there supply routes. All that now remains is to finish of what we started....Justice for those whom commited crimes against the people and the land.

The Sun is setting and with it the good and joy.....in the heart of the city park we find the truth of what has been going on in this city, the slave labour, rapes, genocide all the worst crimes a human can commit have been commited here. As I stand over the bodies what they did to deserve this, my thoughts are interupted......

"How can anybody do such a thing?...why does such oppresion fall upon there defenseless people sir?" Officer Ahmed asks
I reply "Oppression falls on the weak the the defenseless such as these orphans, women, childeren, and all these other citizens for they do not possess the horrible weapons and invasive intelligence apartus of their oppressors. "
"They will pay for this, what shall we do now sir?"
"We will give them the justice they deserve. Move out!"

And so we depart after burying the dead...melting in the night is the hammer of justice......

Hope...

Each time you look into my eyes
Death's shadow slips away into the breeze far from me
Through the night where the stars glisten in the deep dark sky
Out of my soul and into the world of beauty
With the single touch of your fair hand
You heal the wounds of my broken heart
Healing my heart healing my soul
Though it may seem the sorrow will never end
Thus you make me live again
My shadow sits alone in the dark winds
Living the darkness of my sorrows
Cold and wet from my tears
You wrap your arms around me and hold me ever so tight
Pulling me from the darkness into the light
Whether it be day or night

Random?

holy crap! :P the amount of ppl who came 2 me this jummah askin about the bball team ahhhhhh leave me alone!...its youcef n nawid u want! in other news:P monday bball in the gym is comin up again....this monday boys :D man i can hardly wait i havent played bball for along time.....also on the forcast a severe temper is comin on within hours this cause the unfortunate beat-you-bloody diesese for those who are most unfortunate to have caused it n who get in the way........and thats todays news....Bilal Ahmed for Billustan news.

Ambush! My Nightmare....

Im running through the trees twisting and turning avoiding the tress, branches wipping my face, cutting my skin as if they were small knives leaving cuts on my face, there tips wet with my blood leaving a trail my pursuers can follow, good that is just what I want, distantly i can hear the barking of there hunting hounds and the encouragement and cursers of there masters, the path has become slick and wet wit a dark substance...blood? it is to dark to tell; oh no please dont be please it cant be......I dont have the time to make sure I must reach my sanctuary before they catch up too me....Im almost there I can see it; my mind is racin I smile, a small smile i earned it.....at last im almost there!....and then I trip and fall Im rolling and tumbeling, my head is spinning, a taste of blood and mud are in my mouth, im dazed and confused I force myself to my feet and keep running the sounds are closer! they are almost on me I must run faster! 10 more yards and im there....suddenly a hear a whislte as a bullet whips ever so close to my ear, 1 more yard! the bullet is followed my a whole escort of bullets Im there! I dive in to my sanctuary, my foxhole...all of a sudden the forest erupts around me in a fire of bullets and greandes, they outnumbered us atleast 10-1 but we have the eliment of surprise. They are shocked by the turn of events but they have numbers they try fighting back, there men are fighting or dying (mostly dying) I poke my head out of my foxhole and point my MP5 at a mans head...no a boy! he looks so young and even familiar what is a boy doing in a mans war? i lower my gun...just a little then a little more and fire his legs give under him....I stare at him then suddenly im pulled downand the ground above my blows up, I black out...........

Later, much later I wake up everything is blury at first but then slowly things become clear, i push myself to my feet moaning shake my head and turn around.
" Major Bilal sir!" he says
"At ease officer, report" I reply
"398 dead sir, 102 wounded and taken prisoner sir!"
"Our own?" I ask
"Sir! 11 lost, and 18 wounded sir!" he awnsers
"Show me"
"Sir?...the wounded or the dead sir?"
"Both, the dead first I want them buried quickly it is not right to let fellow soldiers rot, even enemy soldiers" and then I ask "I trust you did not move the dead?"
"Sir! no sir!" he replies
"Excellent"

I walk on the battlefield lookin for someone some of the corpses and faces are blown away u cannot tell 1 from another, bits of human parts are scaterred, an arm here a leg there a head over there, guts everywhere...and then I stop there it is the body the boy his pretty face strangely look calm a bullet had takin him right in the head...my bullet? no I shot him in the legs..yes theres my mark.....who shot him??? poor kid...his eyes! theres so much fear in them and then I reconize him he was the boy I saw in the market being beatin by some older boys and I came to his rescue, I fall to my kness and wrap my arms around his head and bring him close tear form in my eyes they trickle down my face and onto his eyes for a moment I hope hes really alive and hes crying...I shake him but he does not move.....strong arms grasp me and pull me up...
"Sir?" he asks confused
"This is what it has come to" I wipe the tears away "See to it that you bring this body with us, I shall bury it myself but not here no, not here, by a tree and when it rains it will wash his tears away"
"Yes sir! Sir we should move on now the dead are buried and Dawn will come soon sir"

Dawn yes the startingof a new day......
"It is over sir" Officer Ahmed replies
"No it has only begun" I reply

Am I Blind?.....A Dream?

I search for personality and I look for things I cannot see for I am a blind man seeing. Love and peace flash through my mind for I am a blind man seeing; pain and hate is all I find. I find no hope in nothing new and I never had a dream come true. Lies and hate and agony; through my eyes that's all I see....for i am no longer blind.

I slept badly once again all the stress is gettin to me from school 2 crew, all of it keeps me awake by body screams within in me wantin 2 rest itz tired n broken, my heart is heavily burdened wit greif and sorrw for the ones I have lost, but my mind is wide awake seachin for possiabilites and awnsers....everything is spinnin in my head like that of a tornado. At one moment im facing down my enemy and giving him a warning, the words are spoken softly but they ware layed down wit Iron....."may you live in interesting times", his eyes go wide, face turns pale, his mouth drops all this i catch at a glimpes of the cornoer of my eye before i turn on my heel and stroll away. My brah asks me if i think he will oppose me "la, if he knows whats good for him he wont, he mite even join us for enemies can become freinds just as freinds can become enemies"....then im in another situation, im sittin wit mahmoud and hes teeling me how my weakness is that i care too much....ive torn my heart open, my freind (i shall not name the individual) have sewin it shut, i look at my scars and realize the past is real n he may be right...then itz spins again...im playin bball wit youcef, nawid, n muhammed. Im playin 1 on 1 wit nawid i somehow fall or trip n i scrape my knee badly im on the ground fightin the fire in my leg, nawid goes n scores a goa n comes 2 me n asks if im ok a memory flahes bak where my officer tells us all new recuits at the end of the training sessain on the first day that 'there is no pain where strength lies' so i ignore the pain i get up n i say im okay and i repeat the words ive learned n we play.........the sun rises its light shines open my face promising a new day...........

Mortals standing and falling

Mortals we where born and and a time shall come when we will die though we do not know when nor how...five nights ago after having talked 2 a friend I had almost lost....it struck me that I am takin life for granted, people talk about life being a party so you should live it up have fun blah blah blah the whole works.....they have rielly no care in the world except when it comes 2 gurlz n education they lack the sight of seeing much farther than that....these people enjoying there life with out a care in the world....i envy them.....I pity them becuz when reallity kicks in its gonna kick in hard life aint no party, itz unpredicatable at the most. Despite all those close brushes i had wit death I remained stubborn tryin 2 enjoy life but i failed... and i failed miserably....everyday for me is a constent reminder of the past from the people I see and talk too, to the places I walk memoires flash back....pain enters my heart, tears come to my eyes, my chest tightness......alwayz havin 2 keep my guard up for the fear of some foe i messed up way back comin for a pay back........we all die....sonner or later, for we are mortals