Hope...

Each time you look into my eyes
Death's shadow slips away into the breeze far from me
Through the night where the stars glisten in the deep dark sky
Out of my soul and into the world of beauty
With the single touch of your fair hand
You heal the wounds of my broken heart
Healing my heart healing my soul
Though it may seem the sorrow will never end
Thus you make me live again
My shadow sits alone in the dark winds
Living the darkness of my sorrows
Cold and wet from my tears
You wrap your arms around me and hold me ever so tight
Pulling me from the darkness into the light
Whether it be day or night

Random?

holy crap! :P the amount of ppl who came 2 me this jummah askin about the bball team ahhhhhh leave me alone!...its youcef n nawid u want! in other news:P monday bball in the gym is comin up again....this monday boys :D man i can hardly wait i havent played bball for along time.....also on the forcast a severe temper is comin on within hours this cause the unfortunate beat-you-bloody diesese for those who are most unfortunate to have caused it n who get in the way........and thats todays news....Bilal Ahmed for Billustan news.

Ambush! My Nightmare....

Im running through the trees twisting and turning avoiding the tress, branches wipping my face, cutting my skin as if they were small knives leaving cuts on my face, there tips wet with my blood leaving a trail my pursuers can follow, good that is just what I want, distantly i can hear the barking of there hunting hounds and the encouragement and cursers of there masters, the path has become slick and wet wit a dark substance...blood? it is to dark to tell; oh no please dont be please it cant be......I dont have the time to make sure I must reach my sanctuary before they catch up too me....Im almost there I can see it; my mind is racin I smile, a small smile i earned it.....at last im almost there!....and then I trip and fall Im rolling and tumbeling, my head is spinning, a taste of blood and mud are in my mouth, im dazed and confused I force myself to my feet and keep running the sounds are closer! they are almost on me I must run faster! 10 more yards and im there....suddenly a hear a whislte as a bullet whips ever so close to my ear, 1 more yard! the bullet is followed my a whole escort of bullets Im there! I dive in to my sanctuary, my foxhole...all of a sudden the forest erupts around me in a fire of bullets and greandes, they outnumbered us atleast 10-1 but we have the eliment of surprise. They are shocked by the turn of events but they have numbers they try fighting back, there men are fighting or dying (mostly dying) I poke my head out of my foxhole and point my MP5 at a mans head...no a boy! he looks so young and even familiar what is a boy doing in a mans war? i lower my gun...just a little then a little more and fire his legs give under him....I stare at him then suddenly im pulled downand the ground above my blows up, I black out...........

Later, much later I wake up everything is blury at first but then slowly things become clear, i push myself to my feet moaning shake my head and turn around.
" Major Bilal sir!" he says
"At ease officer, report" I reply
"398 dead sir, 102 wounded and taken prisoner sir!"
"Our own?" I ask
"Sir! 11 lost, and 18 wounded sir!" he awnsers
"Show me"
"Sir?...the wounded or the dead sir?"
"Both, the dead first I want them buried quickly it is not right to let fellow soldiers rot, even enemy soldiers" and then I ask "I trust you did not move the dead?"
"Sir! no sir!" he replies
"Excellent"

I walk on the battlefield lookin for someone some of the corpses and faces are blown away u cannot tell 1 from another, bits of human parts are scaterred, an arm here a leg there a head over there, guts everywhere...and then I stop there it is the body the boy his pretty face strangely look calm a bullet had takin him right in the head...my bullet? no I shot him in the legs..yes theres my mark.....who shot him??? poor kid...his eyes! theres so much fear in them and then I reconize him he was the boy I saw in the market being beatin by some older boys and I came to his rescue, I fall to my kness and wrap my arms around his head and bring him close tear form in my eyes they trickle down my face and onto his eyes for a moment I hope hes really alive and hes crying...I shake him but he does not move.....strong arms grasp me and pull me up...
"Sir?" he asks confused
"This is what it has come to" I wipe the tears away "See to it that you bring this body with us, I shall bury it myself but not here no, not here, by a tree and when it rains it will wash his tears away"
"Yes sir! Sir we should move on now the dead are buried and Dawn will come soon sir"

Dawn yes the startingof a new day......
"It is over sir" Officer Ahmed replies
"No it has only begun" I reply

Am I Blind?.....A Dream?

I search for personality and I look for things I cannot see for I am a blind man seeing. Love and peace flash through my mind for I am a blind man seeing; pain and hate is all I find. I find no hope in nothing new and I never had a dream come true. Lies and hate and agony; through my eyes that's all I see....for i am no longer blind.

I slept badly once again all the stress is gettin to me from school 2 crew, all of it keeps me awake by body screams within in me wantin 2 rest itz tired n broken, my heart is heavily burdened wit greif and sorrw for the ones I have lost, but my mind is wide awake seachin for possiabilites and awnsers....everything is spinnin in my head like that of a tornado. At one moment im facing down my enemy and giving him a warning, the words are spoken softly but they ware layed down wit Iron....."may you live in interesting times", his eyes go wide, face turns pale, his mouth drops all this i catch at a glimpes of the cornoer of my eye before i turn on my heel and stroll away. My brah asks me if i think he will oppose me "la, if he knows whats good for him he wont, he mite even join us for enemies can become freinds just as freinds can become enemies"....then im in another situation, im sittin wit mahmoud and hes teeling me how my weakness is that i care too much....ive torn my heart open, my freind (i shall not name the individual) have sewin it shut, i look at my scars and realize the past is real n he may be right...then itz spins again...im playin bball wit youcef, nawid, n muhammed. Im playin 1 on 1 wit nawid i somehow fall or trip n i scrape my knee badly im on the ground fightin the fire in my leg, nawid goes n scores a goa n comes 2 me n asks if im ok a memory flahes bak where my officer tells us all new recuits at the end of the training sessain on the first day that 'there is no pain where strength lies' so i ignore the pain i get up n i say im okay and i repeat the words ive learned n we play.........the sun rises its light shines open my face promising a new day...........

Mortals standing and falling

Mortals we where born and and a time shall come when we will die though we do not know when nor how...five nights ago after having talked 2 a friend I had almost lost....it struck me that I am takin life for granted, people talk about life being a party so you should live it up have fun blah blah blah the whole works.....they have rielly no care in the world except when it comes 2 gurlz n education they lack the sight of seeing much farther than that....these people enjoying there life with out a care in the world....i envy them.....I pity them becuz when reallity kicks in its gonna kick in hard life aint no party, itz unpredicatable at the most. Despite all those close brushes i had wit death I remained stubborn tryin 2 enjoy life but i failed... and i failed miserably....everyday for me is a constent reminder of the past from the people I see and talk too, to the places I walk memoires flash back....pain enters my heart, tears come to my eyes, my chest tightness......alwayz havin 2 keep my guard up for the fear of some foe i messed up way back comin for a pay back........we all die....sonner or later, for we are mortals