when ppl pile other shoes onto your shoes!!!
when your in love with someones shoes but u cant find em anywhere...sucks!kids these days who are troubled little souls who go out with like 5 people a month...sickkk esp when ure like 14 haha and walk around the neighbourhood thinking they're gangsters, stealing, cheating, gossiping, loitering, vandalizing, fighting....omg do something productive with your life thanks
Thas tunnu for you (I also put it in your favorite color tunnu!). Man this gurl makes my world go round, shes cute, nice, funny, understanding, caring, cute, weird, smart...did I mention cute??? :P
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Live well, and Die young....in Battle preferably
Today after I just meet up wit yogee, I started to walk towards my ride, and suddenly I had a flashback, I stopped in the middle of my stride and just stood there in the rain....This dream. This vision, image whatever you want to call it ran across my mind and as of late it has been constantly recurring within my mind...I have been purged with this 'dream' for almost 2 years now.....the 2 girls I care the most for watched my die I died in front of them.....I was all bloody and ragged the person who shot the fatal bullet was...well I feel like I know him but I can never make out his face...the dream varies sometimes for example one of the girls (I will not name which one) ends up dying but I live...barely....so till my dying day im full of grief and sorrow due to the loss of her......
There is much more to this dream I have given the most unhelpful.....description??? Truly I am at a loss of words...for this dream is just killing me on the inside....If I where to tell the whole dream....no I could not it is just far to disturbing.....
Yahya asked me (once I had gotten in the car) why I was smiling, and I just told him "becuz I am happy"... had he known me better, if anyone does, they would know I only laugh on the inside, my smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside you might just weep.....
Putting on the fake smile n laughin the fake laugh so nobody knows how I truly feel, I do it for them I do not want my sorrow to ruin the fun, to have them be worried....I have always been an independent person we come in this world alone, so surely we will leave it alone....
There is much more to this dream I have given the most unhelpful.....description??? Truly I am at a loss of words...for this dream is just killing me on the inside....If I where to tell the whole dream....no I could not it is just far to disturbing.....
Yahya asked me (once I had gotten in the car) why I was smiling, and I just told him "becuz I am happy"... had he known me better, if anyone does, they would know I only laugh on the inside, my smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside you might just weep.....
Putting on the fake smile n laughin the fake laugh so nobody knows how I truly feel, I do it for them I do not want my sorrow to ruin the fun, to have them be worried....I have always been an independent person we come in this world alone, so surely we will leave it alone....
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Average Soldier
The average age of the military man is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's; but he has never collected unemployment either. He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and 155mm howitzer. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk. He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional. He can march until he is told to stop or stop until he is told to march. He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient. He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts. If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low. He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job. He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay and still find ironic humor in it all. He has seen more suffering and death then he should have in his short lifetime. He has stood atop mountains of dead bodies, and helped to create them. He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed. He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the Canadian Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 190 years. He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood. And now we even have woman over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so. As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot... A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets.
A shout for the Canadian soldiers out there!
thas how we do. So remember those who fought, and those who have died for you, we have bled for you, we have seen/heard of our comrades fall in action....so the next time you think about making fun of us, just remember this.....
A shout for the Canadian soldiers out there!
thas how we do. So remember those who fought, and those who have died for you, we have bled for you, we have seen/heard of our comrades fall in action....so the next time you think about making fun of us, just remember this.....
random
kape now i really want to join soccer!!! but i think its to late :S.....
lately i have just been really tired n stressed, just...well everything is getting to me n i dunno just feelin dead at tthe moment......
lately i have just been really tired n stressed, just...well everything is getting to me n i dunno just feelin dead at tthe moment......
Friday, May 19, 2006
Random....
I had work yesterday with Maryina, whos the coolest person out there, n to work with....shes teaching me Russian :D I can now say 'you suck!', 'evil cat', 'butt', and a few other words n sentences....
Just the other day the bus broke down on the south side of the river! stupid 8, n ya thas my story, oh n this lady was having trouble breathing and was very dehydrated so I gave her my water and got her to lie down, but she needed to go to the hospital so once we got to millgate a ambulance was called n ya....
Ran into heeba the othwer day on the 8 as i was coming bak from work, man was it good to see her agin brought back memoires....like the times me n her n alefiyah went bladin, costco, skool n ya....
N tunnu still has not as of yet picked up her fone!!!
Just the other day the bus broke down on the south side of the river! stupid 8, n ya thas my story, oh n this lady was having trouble breathing and was very dehydrated so I gave her my water and got her to lie down, but she needed to go to the hospital so once we got to millgate a ambulance was called n ya....
Ran into heeba the othwer day on the 8 as i was coming bak from work, man was it good to see her agin brought back memoires....like the times me n her n alefiyah went bladin, costco, skool n ya....
N tunnu still has not as of yet picked up her fone!!!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Changes...
Besides god who else should i fear?
the only person stopping me is that guy in the mirror...
Imma tryin to be a better person, stugglin n strugglin, tryin to fight the good fight, but sadly I am losing sure I have won some minor victories but I am losing the war....
the only person stopping me is that guy in the mirror...
Imma tryin to be a better person, stugglin n strugglin, tryin to fight the good fight, but sadly I am losing sure I have won some minor victories but I am losing the war....
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Who am I?
Today I managed to get up for fagr salah without any difficulty as soon as I heard the ahzan I simply got up an made wudu, I had not slept at all from the moment I got into bed from the moment I got out I lay there the whole night my body aching with pain my mind raising uncontrollably, projecting images in my mind ,random things, everything...I had stopped reading the Quran for months and only recently have I actually picked it up, I do not pray all my prayers, some days go by where I do not pray at all, 2-3 days at a time! As I think back I become fearful because this is not me, this is not who I am.....ppl keep telling me I have changed...I have for the better and the worse, Im putting my past behind me, fixin up my life, opening myself up (slowly, and cautiously), but I have lost my Emaan...that is a price I cannot pay...
I want to be surrounded by the people who will help me streagthin my Emaan, I need it, the problem is I canno trust them for they have broken that trust, and others make it seem to me that they do not want me the be with them, I have 3-4 brothers who r there but I don't know I don't know if I can open up to them....the people I can open up to are all non-muslim, how has it come to this, that I cannot trust my own brothers and sisters in islam??? Don't get me wrong my non-muslims friends are some of the best ppl on earth. They are surely my best friends.....
Brothers actin like they rock, sisters thinkin there hot...it's quite funny yet disturbing to see what I'm seeing and to hear what I'm hearing.....
Im really missing Tunnu :S I ran into Gayu in Hennessey (k I don't know the spelling let me be!:P), man im missing tunnu.....FLIP TUNNU PICK UP UR CELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to be surrounded by the people who will help me streagthin my Emaan, I need it, the problem is I canno trust them for they have broken that trust, and others make it seem to me that they do not want me the be with them, I have 3-4 brothers who r there but I don't know I don't know if I can open up to them....the people I can open up to are all non-muslim, how has it come to this, that I cannot trust my own brothers and sisters in islam??? Don't get me wrong my non-muslims friends are some of the best ppl on earth. They are surely my best friends.....
Brothers actin like they rock, sisters thinkin there hot...it's quite funny yet disturbing to see what I'm seeing and to hear what I'm hearing.....
Im really missing Tunnu :S I ran into Gayu in Hennessey (k I don't know the spelling let me be!:P), man im missing tunnu.....FLIP TUNNU PICK UP UR CELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, May 12, 2006
The Lost Roots....
So I have decided not to join the aiyc soccer, it's all just fuckin pissing me off, a month in advance and particularly every week I have ben asking "when is soccer starting", only to find out yesterday that is has already stared 3 days ago n they got 16 guys on the ta plus another additional 'subs' ,4 of them, its like what the fuck?!?! this is the second time im being fucked over first hockey now soccer??? ive been with the ikwhaan soccer since day one pratically, and now like fuck! it's all about winning its no longer about having fun n brotherhood.....I think the roots of why this organization was started has been lost sure we got the whole events n stuff like that but in the end it does not do anything cuz it is not in the hearts of the people....the only real reason I got playin time las yr was cuz most of the guys were offensive players (they could play D but they preferred/better at offence) so I surprisingly got playin time, cuz usually I do not, ill be straight, im not crazy at soccer but hey I have been gettin better, I go to the practices (and in 99.9% of the cases im early and usually the first one there) and for what hardly ever gettin to play in what 3 MAC tournies I did not play at all I was on the side watchin the whole time....and everytime I remember thinking 'its ok it wont happen next time" yet it always did...sadly its all about winning....I just pray that bball does not turn to the extent hockey n soccer have come too
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Im going, going, gone....
today has been a great loss, for I love los someone I have all loved and cared about, a failure on my part.....a failure to be what i was supposed to be....a brother. Where did I go wrong I do not know, but what I do know is that I will never be the same knowing that I have lost someone special to me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of all the friends I'll ever have,
Not one will ever be
Important to my life the way
You've been to me.
In many ways we are different,
Yet I always turn to you
To put things into perspective
With an honest point of view.
You take the time to listen with
A sympathetic ear
And tell things in gentle ways
I really need to hear.
A brother is a special gift
IM always grateful for,
Because there is no one else on earth
I'd trust and count on more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of all the friends I'll ever have,
Not one will ever be
Important to my life the way
You've been to me.
In many ways we are different,
Yet I always turn to you
To put things into perspective
With an honest point of view.
You take the time to listen with
A sympathetic ear
And tell things in gentle ways
I really need to hear.
A brother is a special gift
IM always grateful for,
Because there is no one else on earth
I'd trust and count on more.
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