Silent Suffering

Many say I camouflage it well

Only after discovering my silent suffering

Only those who have discoverd it

Silent but never silenced enough

The silent suffering I endure

Alone, leaving what appeared

Silence is well known of me

Silent and hidden

Silent but not silent enough

The pain exists deep down within me

A heart that weeps so silently, weeping in the dark

Hoping no one sees me silent, never!

Stomped on, used as a sponge, broken, tugged on, and jerked at

Never again!

A heart, I do have

And treated as if I have none

A heart that's far beyond repair

Silence, this is the hearts only way

My suffering I try an keep well hidden

But it cries out Help

But no one seems to hear or see

Only the ones that some how saw

The silent suffering within me, can't you see

This is my heart speaking

Help me, dont,

I am suffering

Reality, Despair, N Darkness

Well maybe now I should just say goodbye
You all used to be my friend's
But I never felt I really was yours
So maybe this is the end.
I'm different from you, all of you
Each other we've never understood
I hope that if I do tell you goodbye
That it will be for good.
Whenever I'm sad it hurts me so bad
And you care,
But it aint fair,
I don't know why,
I just want to cry
And someday I won't be here.
The streaks of red on my arm have done me no harm
They're only made of blood
But once they are blood that turns brown like mud
They'll be there again and again.
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter
Although when I hurt I feel lower than dirt
And my spirit's bruised, battered, and tattered.
I do not know why it has to be so
I just know that it is so
But the way this has been going it is basically shot.
You don't need me
And that's how I think I know why
These words are the ones I have to speak-
I love you all, but goodbye.....

I Am Alone....Am I?

I keep gettin a funny feeling,
it comes from deep down inside.
I get all mad and angry,
wanting to go and hide.

My doctor calls it depression,
my peepz say it's just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
no one will ever be able to see.

Some say I'm psycho,
some say I'm just weird.
It's like I'm a different person,
and the old me just died n disappeared.

I get really edgy,
I really want to commit suicide.
Then I get a headache,
followed by me feelin sad.

I wish I could get help,
Yet at the same time I don't,
I wish it would go away.
Maybe if I keep praying real hard,
it will some day.....

.....or will it???

Iqra

"Why do you read so much" Laila asks me in the library

Im read as I walk, when I am on the bus, in between classes, every chance I can get I like to read.....something of a hobby, though people do not understand why. I enjoy reading all sorts of books such as Comic books, Fantasy, Fiction, Graphic novels, Humor, Magazines, Myths and Legends, Newspapers, Non-fiction, Poetry, Sci-fi...and just about every book I can get my hand on...

I take off my glasses put my book down, and looked up at her smiling and said....
"Laila im trying to read here...do you mind!"

...chuckling I tell her that the written word is all that stands between memory and oblivion. Without books as our anchors we will be cast adift with neither teaching or learning. They are the windows of the past, mirrors of the present, and prisms reflecting all possible futures. Books are lighthouses erected in the dark see of time...so you see that is why I read...no if you will excuse me binti shouldn't you be studying?"

I Will Be Missing You...

Just a lil something a freind whom I am missing dearly has sent me...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Will Be Missing You

You were so full of life
Always smiling and carefree
Life loved you being a part of it
And I loved you being a part of me

You could make anyone laugh
If they were having a bad day
No mater how sad I was,
You could take the hurt away

Nothing could ever stop you,
Or even make you fall.
You were ready to take on the world,
Ready to do it all.

But Allah decided he needed you,
So from this world you left
But you took a piece of all of us
Our hearts are what you kept

It’s hard not to see your face
But please always know this
No one will ever take your place

You left without a simple warning
Not even saying good bye
And I can’t seem to stop
Asking the question WHY.

Nothing will ever be the same
Family dinners are empty without your laughter.
But I know you're up in heaven
Watching over us

I didn’t see this coming
It hit me by surprise
And when you left this world
A small part of us died

Your smile could brighten anyone’s day
No matter what they were going through.
And I know everyday for the rest of my life,
I Will Be Missing You.

From Random

*Hey now! It's shumbody's birthday, and I think you kno who,
call him Billu, Bobo, Taka, Duke...or whatever you choose,
*Now hold up, slow down, ya see it's the "summer time"
my buddy is getting old, hes heading for one nine,
*But age is just a number...and that works for my uncle jee
hes the only one I know who still watches cartoons on YTV!
*See now, I met him this year...It hasn't been that while
but that don't matter cuz Billu you can Always make me smile
*I think the funniest still is how you automatically call me "Random"
and how your answer to any guy problem will always be "jus can him!"
*It's funny still how you make it so easy, crack jokes till were ok,
and now we want to let you know you make this life funnier every single day,

*Now Remember that day we went to taco time
and ordered the whole menu without looking at the price sing
*It was fricken hiiarious, cuz you only had a ten
Kesha and me still laugh about that...but it wont happen again
*Then of course there as southcommon, at Chuck E Cheese
and you DID NOT beat me at b-ball...Let it go PLEASE!
*Haha, jokes, jokes but we shall definitely play a game,
maybe after I whoop you, you'll remember my Name
*Bobo, I can hear you know "Right Random good one!"
But since it's your birthday I "wont mess with you son!"
And Billu, Nikesha & Joc just LOVE your matrix coat,
that's whiter than what's splling down you throat...
Yes, Yes I know that made no sence but I don't care
Now lets hijack a taxi and get the hell out of here!
...Kape, about time to wrap up this burday song
Im running out of words to rhyme plus it's getting sort of long.
So Bille, what we really wanted to let you know
Is that all of us love you so much even though,
We may not always say it ut listen, keep in mind.
friendship like this aint easy to find.
And BOBO, you dun get a gift...ur probly thinking "wut the ___!?"
but hey, dun worryabout it you got Kesh, me, Joc...jus ur luck!
OKAY im done entertaining, I layed it out, here,
So have a sweeet nineteen, peace...cherrios...and
like a great man once said...
CHEERRZ!

A Riddle...

In a room sits 3 great men, a king, a priest, and arich man with all his wealth. Between them stands a merecenary, a little ordinary man, with no great mind. Each of the great ones bids him to kill the other two.
"Do it!" says the king "For I am your lawful ruler"
"Do it!" says the priest "For I command you in the name of God"
"Do it!" says the rich man "And I will give you all this, this wealth shall be yours"

.....So tell me who lives and who dies?

If they are down I attack, and what do I do when im done.
Nothing.....I'm still attacking.

Marriage

Ya-Mahmoud finally gettin married!

They always say get these guys married fast cuz they cannot control themselves well i agree! :P but at the same time it should not only be those who cannot control there hormones but those who can because did the prophet not say make marriage easy? yet we make it so hard...why?

It was quite funny at the engagement (nikha or w/e, i thnk thas what its called the thing before the weddin) uncles, broz, sis, aunties, friends all coming up n telling me
"your best friend n brother is getting married....whens ur turn?"
each time i would resond with a laugh n tell them never....I mean whats the point? ya those who want to score thas good im there for you...but marriage wil always be something i avoid I just dnt think I can trust someone that much.....that n with my life....why jeopardize theres?...it always brings me joy to see to ppl come togather but I know that it is not for me...nor will it ever be....love?...what is love?....love is pain.....pain just for me....pain I dont no wish to have, I already have enough why take more

Im not even capabale of loving anymore so i would wish they would jus back off. They know me, they should know that.....i dont mind them asking, what I do mind is when ppl keep preasurring me to marry.......

The Madagascar song

The Madagascar song :D

(chorus)
I like to move it, move it
I like to move it, move it
I like to move it, move it
Ya like to ("Move it")
Repeat 2 more times

All girls all over the world, original
Mad Stuntman pon ya case man!
I love how all girls a move them body,
and when ya move ya body,
and move it,
nice and sweet and sexy,
alright!

Woman ya cute,
and you don't need no make up,
original cute body you a mek man mud up.

Woman! Physically fit, physically fit, physically, physically, physically fit
Woman! Physically fit, physically fit, physically, physically, physically fit
Woman! Ya nice, sweet, fantastic Big ship on de ocean that a big titanic
Woman! Ya nice, sweet energetic Big ship on de ocean that a big titanic
Woman! Ya nice, sweet, fantastic Big ship on de ocean that a big titanic
Woman! Ya nice, sweet, fantastic Big ship on de ocean that a big titanic
Woman ya cute, and you don't need no make up, original cute body you a mek man mud up.

Eye liner - pon ya face a mek man mud up
Nose powder - pon ya face a mek man mud up
Pluck ya eyebrow - pon ya face a mek man mud up
Gal ya lipstick - pon ya face a mek man mud up
Woman ya nice broad face, and ya nice hip, make man flip and bust up them lip.
Woman ya nice an energetic, big ship pon de ocean that a big titanic.
Woman ya nice broad face, and ya nice hip, make man flip and bust up them lip.
Woman ya nice and energetic, big ship pon de ocean that a big titanic.

I like to move it, move it
I like to move it, move it
I like to move it, move it
Ya like to ("Move it")